Carolyn Magner

Happy people always get me down

Dear Carolyn,I’m dating a guy who is so freaking happy he’s about to drive me nuts. I’m all for being optimistic and upbeat but sometimes I just want to burst his bubble. I doubt I’ll be able to keep dating him since he’s starting to notice that I’m not smiling anymore.Any thoughts?GinaDear Gina,The sad thing about happiness is that it can’t buy you money.I'm just say'n,Carolyn

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What does she really mean?

Dear Carolyn,Can you please help explain something to me? My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We get along well and I don’t have any complaints. However, recently, she’s started to whine that she 'loves me' but is not 'in love' with me. What the &*% does that mean? And who cares? Are we really supposed to stay “in love” forever? I like love much better than I like, in love.Is this ...

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Pork dorks

Dear Carolyn, My husband just called me from the road to say he’s feeling a little feverish and achy and has a wicked sore throat. He wants me to research Swine Flu. I’m petrified. Do you think he has it? What should I do? What should he do? He says he’s been eating bacon every morning for breakfast. Could that do it? I’m really scared.Please help,AllieDear Allie,Let me get this straight. You fear your husband ...

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Doggone it!

Dear Carolyn,I’m dating a great gal but there’s one small problem. She doesn’t like dogs and I have two fabulous Labrador retrievers named Ben and Jerry. Five years ago I found them shivering in a cardboard box in the back of a truck stop and I took them in without thinking about it too much. They’ve been my most loyal companions ever since. It gets pretty crowded in the cab with two large dogs but ...

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Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucSp0LNAaNc&fmt=18Hey, take a lookie. This guy is good!I'm just say'n,Carolyn

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Do you see what I see?

Dear Carolyn,I’m writing in response to your request to send in odd sights seen from the cab. Like most long time truckers, there’s not much that shocks me anymore. I’ve seen everything from completely naked drivers to people reading books rigged to the steering wheel. It’s nothing to see someone mix an alcoholic drink, read the newspaper or text while driving. I’ve seen more than one woman paint her toenails while passing me going 80 ...

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You won't believe what I've seen!

A couple times a year, I get loads that take me up to Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The Toronto metro-area is relatively nice and clean except that it's also known as the City Of The Driving Masturbator. You wouldn't believe the number of men (and women) who practice masturbation while driving around on metro Toronto roadways! However, many of us American truckers do take comfort whenever we see a guy talking on his cellphone as ...

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Mascara madness

Dear Carolyn,I saw a girl putting on her mascara while passing my truck. That's just plain crazy. What the heck is wrong with people?ScottDear Scott,Eye declare!Just say'n,Carolyn

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Knit wits!

Dear Carolyn,I assume the majority of us drivers do a smattering of different things while passing the time driving. But I was stunned one afternoon to see a gray-haired geriatric steering with her forearms while her hands were working a pair of knitting needles! My mother is a "knit wit", too, so I know it is possible to attend to the task at hand for long stretches without having to look at the project too ...

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Terrible teens

Dear Carolyn,I’m having a hard time with my twin teenage daughters. They are perfect angels when I’m in town but as soon as I go back on the road, they start acting up. They are driving my wife crazy and I feel so helpless. My wife is a great mom but she’s at the end of her rope. Last week she caught them smoking!Teenagers are hard enough but with an absentee dad, it seems even ...

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