Wendy Parker

Thunder rolls and anaconda blankets

Wendy's exegesis on the lored “thunder blanket for humans, ... a blanket that weighs enough to 'give you the sensation of being gently hugged.'" It's advertisements promise "to simulate a 'loving squeeze' for people who feel anxious."

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First time for everything

In which Wendy takes heat for being "reasonable" relative to ELDs ... "I know, right? The words 'reasonable' and 'Wendy Parker' have probably never been used together in a sentence one single time..."

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Five-year overhaul, comin’ right up

"Well folks, the shark bite-Frankenstein hand is shot again. It's time for my five-year overhaul, and I really wouldn't mention it I feel like I should probably explain why I appear to be giving the finger to the entire world, 24/7, just in case photos surface."

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Bakking into the future

Driver Luke Haen's "Bakkab" portable back-up camera for the most difficult of maneuvers: "Luke realized that no matter how good someone was at backing a trailer, there would always be times when the angle was just impossible, or the line of vision was blocked ... Bakkab was born."

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Friends don’t let friends kiss rattlesnakes

"Next time you ramble on down to Florida, don't be surprised a 'bit' if there are signs at all the rest areas discouraging you from trying to be intimate with a rattlesnake."

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Nice sentiments

The ELD mandate drawing closer ... "I've noticed a lot more people deciding to protest the rule. I appreciate the feelings: I'm the first one to say, 'Stand up to the gubmint,' but I've got one question: Where were y'all all those years ago when we were begging people to make comments?" ...

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Passing the tandems

Wendy's son offers this revelation to George: “Dad, I want you to teach me to drive the truck and help me get into the trucking business.” Wendy's still processing: "I'll just be over here in the corner, with a fresh bag of lead paint chips..."

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Ode to the mothers

"I'm going to share the love and give a deep thanks to all the moms out there – especially the trucking family moms, who are the support and backbone of so many small business trucking operations." ...

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Texas, land of windshield monsters

"George assures me the ratio of windshield breaks associated with Texas is directly related to the number of times we've been there. I say it's windshield monsters."

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The ‘I’m not leaving the house’ blues

"Unfortunately, I can't always extend the compassion to my own driver, who makes the statement, 'I am not leaving the house for three days,' every time he hits the door for home time. We all know this is a filthy lie."

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