Wendy Parker

Let’s go truckin’

"Who wouldn't want to hit the wide open road for a few weeks? All the freedom and glamor, not to mention making tons of money while traveling. But first, you gotta get legal ... Just make sure you've got enough left over to pay the lumpers."

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Navigating the intricate levels of trucking BS

There are several distinct levels. "All can be somewhat entertaining, but the gold standard club membership is running with (or behind) a pack of crusty old Nebraska livestock haulers, swapping CB stories in the middle of the night."

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Only those with voices in their head need apply

Consider the internal conversation one may have while doing a little internet research on trucking. "After three hours of Googling, I still don't know if I want to be a trucker."

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Truckers for Truckers and TruckersFinalMile.org unite

Truckers for Truckers, founded by Michael Suson as a mental health support group, is getting a head start on nonprofit status with the new partnership with Truckers Final Mile.

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Mortality is no longer a lawful option

“We as a Nation are safe and we must strive to be safer. In order to prove how safe we are, we are introducing legislation that makes dying a federal offense, punishable by a frownie face on your CIA dossier and up to ten years in the pen.”

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Notes on parking lot pet etiquette

"Please be cautious and respectful enough to ask if you can pet the baby monkey before you run up on the poor thing and put your big human hands all over it. No wonder people get bit. I'd bite you, too, if I was on a chain, couldn't get away and you tried to pet me. Just ask George."

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Weaver of tales, some of them true

Anybody familiar with an ol' boy running out of Arkansas, name of Bill Weaver? He's usually got a guitar with him, and last I saw him, he was hauling Ranger boats with a Freightliner cabover, in and out of Flippin, Arkansas.

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If you can’t say something nice, come sit beside me

"Apparently the people designing these autonomous vehicles and proselytizing their imminent takeover of the world have never been on an American highway, inside a big truck outside of a parking lot, or used brain power for anything other than putting the wagon before the wheel."

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Stunning New Mexico military tribute tanker from owner-operator Grant Maxey

During the shooting of film footage for the upcoming Tony Justice “Stars, Stripes and White Lines” video, we had the pleasure and honor of running with Grant Maxey and the 1988 Heil tanker he's had painted with a stunning tribute to the veterans of America.

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Gremlins, housecats, and other hindrances

We once threw a code that said, “Your soul and general person are in imminent danger. Lucifer awaits at the dealership.”

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