Wendy Parker

Trucking vocabulary ‘word of the year’

"Surreal?" Nah, says Wendy, try "'Night-marey with a dash of soul crushing....' Since there's not a single word for that, and I try to stick with laughter, even if it's bitter, I'll go with 'absurd.'"

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Dear Governor [insert appropriate name] …

During the changeover in administrations for elected offices won in November, making your voice heard is incredibly important, and it's valuable for the incoming officials to hear it.

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Abracadabra autonomous!

“They’re not opponents of tech, but it might be a failure of imagination" --Venture capitalist on disconnect between truckers' expectations of self-driving tech and those of the folks in Silicon Valley. Wendy: "Let's slow the row on the imagination-bashing a little and get real."

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“As a man thinketh …”

Holiday stress is real. "For whatever reason, and there are hundreds this time of year, November through January seem to induce more worry and consternation ..." Fortunately, there are ways to combat it.

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The Haven

Wendy's parody of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" poem details an encounter with a local LEO tap tap tapping on the driver's door: "I'm here for sleep, and nothing more."

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The difference between Facebook and regulatory comments

"People sure like to gripe on Facebook, ... at the Counter of Knowledge, and anywhere another human being may listen, but when it comes time for them to actually be able to provide some recorded, sanctioned, discussions ..."

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Is that a chuck roast in your purse, or are you just happy to see me?

Why no, Wendy tells the questioner -- only top round for this discerning shopper. Sometimes, catching a Goodwill 50-percent-off sale is hard.

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Notes on possible alien abductions

"It's stressful living near the only widely-known storage facility for captive aliens. Wright Patterson Air Force Base is probably designated by spacemen far and wide as the Guantanamo of the Milky Way."

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Aunt Wendy’s gifts for oddly-shaped children

"Here I go again, waiting until the first of December to start work on hand-made Christmas gift items for 42 people," including what appears to the naked eye to be a ruffle-covered tactical vest for a neckless infant.

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You’ll put your eye out with that thing

The story of cousin George nearly putting his eye out with his CB mic: “No honey, self-inflicted head injuries are never cool. Now rest up, so you can be a plumber or lawyer when you grow up..."

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