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Reality Check

Carolyn Magner

Breaking up by text message

| January 15, 2013

Dear Carolyn,

I did a stupid thing. I broke up with my girlfriend via text message. In my defense, she’s not a gal who takes rejection very well. I tried to tell her in person but she didn’t accept what I was saying.

Obviously, it was a callous and heartbreaking way to do it. I know this because she posted the text on her extensive social media sites. I’ve become quite the punching bag for all her friends and all their friends and basically the whole Internet thinks I’m a jerk.

So, here’s my advice tip for the day. Don’t write anything to anyone that can be cut and pasted.


Dear Lee,

Oh goodness. That’s a sad story. You probably expect I will pile on here. It is never a good idea to put something out there that can be reposted. But sometimes, the kindest way to end a relationship is with a quick, painful cut. I urge you to move on and ignore the drama. By the time I post this answer, your 15 seconds of fame will be replaced by the next drama. Breaking up by text or email is just the modern way to send a “Dear John,” letter. It’s the rejection that stings, not necessarily the delivery method. And it’s not kind to string someone along when you’d rather cut them loose. I’m not saying it was the perfect way to do it, but I am saying it’s better than not doing it. So, there you go.

I’m just say’n,

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