I’ve been “chatting” with this trucker I met online. We seem to really hit it off. We like the same things, are both single and both long-distance truckers. Now the moment of reckoning is here. We have to meet in “real time” to see if there’s any spark. My problem is that I’ve kinda sorta sent him a picture that my friend’s kid touched up in Photoshop. He took off about 40 pounds, smoothed out wrinkles around my eyes and fixed my hair a little. My guy says it doesn’t matter WHAT I look like, he’s in love with the real me, not the superficial one.
Should I believe him? Should I tell him the truth before we meet or test the truth of what he’s been telling me?
Please hurry and answer this.
Jenny in Dallas
Oh my goodness! You sent a misleading photograph to an internet boyfriend? That’s such a dastardly thing to do. And you are the first one to ever do it. Yeah, right. It’s okay honey, everyone does it. You don’t actually think the photo he sent YOU isn’t just a wee bit old or touched up? Teeth whitened, pounds melted? Now that you don’t have to beat yourself up about lying, here’s the rub.
He might be interested in the exterior you or he might not. You won’t know that until you meet the exterior him. So do this. Go ahead and meet, but make it in a public place, a truckstop would be good. And get it over with. If both of your exteriors still dig both of your interiors, well then — my work here is done.
I’m just say’n.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve been married for 12 years and have two small children. My husband is on the road all week and home on most weekends. I never thought I’d resent the trucking life, but lately it’s really been getting to me. My husband seems like a stranger when he walks in the door. What can I do?
Layla in Louisville
Oh my dear girl! Don’t you realize what you have going on here? You’ve got the makings of a great fantasy! Do you know how many bored husbands and wives write to me wondering how to beat the married blues? And you, Layla – you lucky ducky you – get to open the door on Friday afternoons and greet someone fresh and new. My advice is to spend the whole weekend getting to know him again. Be excited about your lot in life. Love it like you have chosen it. Woo him. Seduce him. Make him so happy he’s going to be sorry to leave. Then enjoy the space you have all week until next Friday arrives.
A lifetime of this can be really fun. It’s all in what you make of it.
I’m just say’n.
I’m miserable in my marriage. I’m fat, lazy and tired. I don’t do anything fun or try anything new. My husband says if I don’t shape up, he’s shipping out.
Frankly Carolyn, I don’t give a damn.
If you don’t give a damn, and he doesn’t give a damn, then why should I give a damn? I mean that in a loving way. You are the only one who can pull yourself out of this slump. And since you took the supreme effort required to e-mail me this note, I will return the favor and give you some supreme effort-filled advice.
Get up. Get Dressed. Brush your hair. Vacuum one room. Go for a walk. Call a friend. Make an appointment with your family doctor. Read the cover story of Truckers News. Put on some lipstick.
Do these things and a few more every day. Tell your doctor everything that’s been going on with you. Do what he tells you to do.
I’m just say’n.
Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Nothing shocks her. If you are really in trouble, please call someone who has gone to school for a long time. E-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.