Don't Tolerate Bullying

Carolyn Magner | July 01, 2012

I’m Just Say’n

 

Trucker wants safe school environment for son

 

Dear Carolyn,

Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Email Carolyn at cmagner@randallreilly.com.

My 10-year-old son is being bullied at school, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I know it’s all the rage to go to the teachers and demand the bullying be stopped. However, I don’t know if I really believe that teachers or principals can control the meanness of kids. When I was a boy, I was teased for being overweight and wearing glasses. My son is teased because he has a learning disability. I feel helpless because I’m on the road most of the time and my wife is too shy to be assertive with the school.

What do you think I should do? He comes home crying almost every day. Now, they have taken to Facebook and Twitter to mock him. I’m at the end of my rope.

Dave

 

Dear Dave,

I’m worried, too. Social media takes bullying to new levels. While I agree with you that you can’t mandate kindness and acceptance from kids, you can demand a safe school environment for your son.

Start by calling the school and asking to speak to your son’s teacher. She can reach you by cell or by email. Tell her what you told me, and explain that your wife is too shy to handle this. If she’s not aware of what’s going on, you may need to contact the school counselor. Keep making the phone calls, and ask them for help. Explain the situation and make sure you get hard copy of anything you see online that constitutes bullying.

There is support out there but you have to seek it. If your wife isn’t able to, you have to. Or, give us the name of the school and we’ll organize a convoy of pissed-off truckers ready to help your son.

Good luck, and let us know how it works out.

I’m just say’n.

 

 

Spousal support is powerful

Dear Carolyn,

My husband is a 55-year-old trucker who has decided to take steps to improve his health. He’s scared about his high blood pressure and severe sleep apnea. He blames his medical conditions on the trucking lifestyle but for some reason has decided to make serious changes.

I want to help. Do you have any tips for spouses?

Sarah

 

Dear Sarah,

First, congratulations on your husband’s decision to start on the road to health. I actually do have some tips.

See the doc: Before he does anything, drag him to your family doctor and get a complete check-up. Go with him so you can write down his blood pressure, weight and any other vital stats.

Start small: Encourage him to add daily walks and reduce portion sizes.

Join in: Spouses who join in on a new diet and exercise plan have more success than those who go it alone. Stock the house with healthy food choices and pack low sodium, low fat snacks for him before he heads out on the road.

Good luck, and enjoy the journey!

I’m just say’n.

 

 

 

Facebook show-off

Dear Carolyn,

I have a friend who is always bragging on Facebook. She posts pictures of her fabulous life, awesome boyfriend, expensive vacations and newest purchases. I’m barely making it as a single mother of two kids. I drive a truck to pay the bills and would love to walk in her stilettoes for a day or two! I have considered “de-friending” her, but outside of Facebook, I like her and she’s been a good friend over the years. Why do people feel like they need to show off their good fortune when so many are struggling?

Kay

 

Dear Kay,

Consider the possibility that she’s just enthusiastic about her life and unaware that it bothers you when she posts about her fabulous life. Another possibility is that she feels compelled to present an image that may or not may not be accurate

Instead of “de-friending,” just ignore the status updates and get on with your busy life. You can’t control what she does but you can control how you react to it. Work on the art of not being impressed. I’ve always believed that if you have to talk about what you have, you are covering for what you have not.

I’m just say’n.

 

 

 

Mom needs teen assistance

Dear Carolyn,

My teenagers are driving me crazy. They don’t listen to a word I say. What happened? They were so sweet when they were little!

Is there anything I can do to get through these years? My husband is always on the road so he’s no help.

Sarah

 

Sarah,

The only thing to be done about teenagers is to endure the torture and hopefully come out alive on the other side. I hate them myself, but they do eventually grow out of it. And now, against all odds, I am actually considered smart and funny again. Who knew?

Don’t let the traveling trucker dad escape the fun. He should suffer with you. Set up calls so he can weigh in on the latest transgression.

I’m just say’n.

 

 

Do you or your friends fall into one of these Facebook categories?

The Documentarian: They update their status with every move (65 percent)

The Drama Queen: Everything’s a crisis with this friend (61 percent)

The Proud Mama: They think Junior’s every move is newsworthy (57 percent)

The Incessant Liker: They “like” every post (46 percent)

The Slactivist: Don’t they know Facebook can’t cure cancer? (40 percent)

The Poser: They project an image of life so perfect, and it’s not true (40 percent)

 (Source: Eversave survey of 400 women about their Facebook opinions)

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