You really missed the mark with your answer to Julia’s question about her “too good to be true” man in the March issue. I can’t believe you told her to run for the hills. I met a man like that, and let me tell you something, sister, he was even BETTER than too good. That’s right. And we’ve been together for 15 years. If I had been stupid enough to write to you about it, I could have missed out on the best thing that ever happened to me.
Mad in Mobile
Actually, I’ve had a lot of letter writers agree with you. They say good guys need to be scooped up, not discarded. Most of them say I was way off base with my advice. I’ve given it some further thought and even re-read the first letter very carefully. I think the red flags came from the fact that her friends and family were worried. In my line of work, the only information I have is what you tell me. So if indeed he really was a good guy disguised as a guy too good to be true, then I did make a mistake. But if her family and friends were worried, then so am I. Just a little bit. Enough to say slow down and pay attention. To those self-proclaimed good guys out there who are spitting mad at me, I’m sorry!
I’m good friends with a trucker who is married and drives team for the company I work for. I’ve become close friends with both him and his wife, but there’s one small problem. I know something about his wife that he doesn’t know. It seems that she used to work in a strip club before they met. I know this because one of the other drivers told me he recognized her. I keep thinking I should say something to her, let her know that her secret is out. But then again, I don’t want to be the one who tells. Please help. I’m afraid that if it comes out, she’ll find out I knew and will be mad I didn’t warn her.
If one guy knows, they all know. But how do you know she didn’t tell her husband about her past?
Maybe that’s where he met her. I think you should ignore the gossip and go about your life as if you didn’t know anything. If she finds out you knew, just tell her you never believe gossip. That ought to take care of it.
A stripper, huh? Well, she’s probably making a lot less money driving.
I’m just say’n.
My husband is about 50 pounds overweight and has terrible sleep apnea. He snores so loud the dog runs into the closet and hides. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried everything to get him to lose weight or go to a sleep clinic. I’ve even taped him while he’s snoring so he can hear how terrible it is.
He feels badly about it but won’t go to the doctor. I’m at my wits’ end. I’ve already made him sleep in the guest room, but that’s no way to have a marriage. Please help. The only time I get any sleep is when he’s on the road.
Sleepless in Sacramento
I hate to break it to you, but while you are home sleeping soundly, he’s a danger to himself and others while driving drowsy. Sleep apnea is a serious but treatable condition. Please drag him to the doctor for a complete check-up and sleep evaluation. Do whatever you have to do to make him go.
Next, put the family on a healthy eating regime and add some moderate exercise to your routine.
Good luck. I know it’s not easy making a grown man do your bidding.
I’m just say’n.
Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Nothing shocks her. If you are really in trouble, please call someone who has gone to school for a long time. E-mail Carolyn at firstname.lastname@example.org.