I'm just say'n

| December 01, 2007

By Carolyn Magner
Columnist
cmagner@rrpub.com

Dear Carolyn,

I’m not sure if this is a problem or not. My wife is a motor-mouth with a vicious mean streak. She can yell at me over anything, from clipping my toenails to forgetting to take out the trash. And her voice gets louder and more shrill as she goes. Even the neighbors run inside when she starts.

The only good news is that sometimes, when she’s really mad, she gives me the silent treatment. That’s supposed to be the ultimate put-down, but weirdly, I kind of like it.

At least I get some peace and quiet.

My buddies think it’s terrible and that I should demand she stop with the deep freeze.

What do you think?

Billy

Dear Billy,

The silent treatment. Hmm, can’t see a downside to it in your case. I’d pretend to hate it and then just enjoy.

Of course, you should honestly evaluate why you stay with such a wretch.

I’m just say’n.


Dear Carolyn,

After a long dry spell, I’ve met a guy that I really like. He goes to my church, and his family and my family are friends. Both of our dads are truckers, and he’s in training right now. We’ve really got a lot in common and he’s extremely good-looking. I was wondering if you had any surefire ways of making him fall in love with me. Hurry, because lots of the women in his company are hitting on him.

Becky

Dear Becky,

Make him? Like put a spell on him? Give him Love Potion No. 9? Here’s the thing: You can’t make someone want you. There are all kinds of rules and tricks of the trade. Mostly I suggest you develop yourself into the best person, both inside and outside, that you can be. Here’s one surefire way to get his attention. Show him a version of himself that he likes. If he’s a safe driver or good with tools, admire those qualities. Tell him how much you look up to his safety record or how rare it is to meet a guy who can change his own oil. Never underestimate the power of talking about his favorite subject – himself!

I’m just say’n.


Dear Carolyn,

One of my best friends is a long-term online friend. We’ve only met in real life a few times, but he’s the one I tell all my troubles, hopes and dreams to. Is this healthy? Are you OK with online friendships?

Wondering Wanda

Dear Wanda,

A lot of what I think about online relationships has changed over the years, but one aspect remains the same. If you are using online relationships as a substitute for real-life ones, you are missing out on more than you are getting. You can’t kiss or hug a computer screen, hold its hand or grab a quick cup of coffee with it. It’s not there when you need a shoulder to cry on or a hug to help you through a crisis. That said, I think it’s real if you’ve shared your life with him through words. But I don’t think it’s real enough if that’s your closest friend. Online friends are the frosting in a happy life. They can’t substitute for the real thing.

I’m just say’n.


Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Nothing shocks her. If you are really in trouble, please call someone who has gone to school for a long time. E-mail Carolyn at cmagner@rrpub.com.

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