Reality Check

Carolyn Magner

Is this cheating?

| March 03, 2010

Dear Carolyn,

I am 47 years-old and have been dating a trucker for about four months and things are going well. We have not really had the conversation to “determine the relationship” status yet but I assume we are exclusive. Anyway, I had to go to a work party and my guy was on the road. So, I asked a guy friend of mine to go with me. We had fun and it was strictly friendship. But now I am worried that it could appear that I stepped out on my boyfriend. Should I mention it casually or wait until he gets back or just let it go?

I’m struggling to do the right thing because his ex-wife left him for another guy and he’s still bitter.

Please help.

Julie

 Dear Julie,

Whoa there girl. Step back a minute. You are not exactly his girlfriend and you “assume” you are exclusive. That’s a mighty big assumption to base all this angst upon. It seems like you are now in the part of the relationship that requires a conversation. When he gets back, sit down and have a calm discussion about your status. Tell him you asked a friend to a party and you want to know how he feels about that. Be matter-of-fact and honest.

When the conversation is over you will either be officially dating or not dating. I always feel like it’s better to have your cards on the table.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn