George & Wendy Show

Wendy Parker

(Not) Making friends on the road

| May 22, 2013

Big Spring, Texas, is hot and dusty. It’s even hotter and dustier when you’re stuck there for two days due to a diesel-exhaust-fluid-system issue. Here’s a tip: just because the shop’s sign and the truck maker’s website says it’s a manufacturer-authorized shop doesn’t necessarily mean they work on DEF systems. We found that out the hard way, when George went over his drive time by ten minutes to limp us into the TA in Big Spring, because he had an indicator light.

“We don’t do DEF.”

“What? You’re an authorized shop. Why don’t you do DEF?”

“We don’t do DEF.”

This conversation could have continued for an hour or so, but the bottom line was they don’t do DEF.

Being it was Saturday night, we had no choice other than to wait in Big Spring until Monday morning, when another shop (that incidentally isn’t an authorized shop) opened. Because they did DEF.

It always seems like something tries to keep us from getting home, when all we want to do is go home. Another 36 hours without moving was going to be an eternity. I moped and pooped and displayed every symptom of unhappiness I could possibly display. George is awesome when I act like this, he never feeds into the mood, he always tries to divert me. Much like you would with a three-year-old.

“Let’s go in and eat. There’s a gift shop, we’ll look for something to take the kids.”

“We’ll never see the kids again. We’re going to rot in Big Spring.”

“C’mon, babe. We’ll get home. Let’s eat.”

I drug myself out of the bunk and joined him for the dusty, hot walk to the restaurant. When we got inside, George and I split to go to the restrooms. I finished first, and was waiting outside for him when I noticed the boots. When I say “the boots,” I mean the weirdest color gray boots I had ever seen. I don’t usually talk to strangers, because I’m not good at making friends, but I had to comment to the guy wearing them.

Dog Lamp“Nice boots. I like the color.”

“Thanks, they’re dog skin.”

Wut?

Apparently, my face reflected my horror. He laughed.

“I got ‘em in Korea. You’d be surprised at how nice dog skin tans up.”

“Uh, so do humans, but we don’t go around making boots out of ‘em. Unless you’re Hitler, of course. They say he had lampshades made of people. I’ll bet they smelled weird when they got hot.”

It was his turn to be horrified. He got a weird look on his face, tipped his hat and basically ran away from me. George walked up as he was leaving.

“Do I want to know what you said to him?”

“He started it with his dogskin boots.”

“Aaannnd that answers my question. Let’s go eat.”

Sometimes, it’s hard to make friends on the road.

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  • Jenifer Bright

    Love your blogs. I ride in the truck with my husband and read them to him as he’s driving.

  • James

    Hey-the guy DESERVED it. DOGSKIN? Jeezus!

  • http://www.facebook.com/teresa.douthit1 Teresa Douthit

    She was a heck of lot more sensored in her wording than I would have been. That is just one of the most awful things that a person can be part of! He would not have walked but run away when I got my peace said!

  • JimDollahan

    We live in a strange culture, you choose to use your right to speech that no one can take yet you judge a different culture because they are different from you. As he said, the boots were made in Korea, where dogs are not treated better than your kids. He made a legal purchase of his choosing, who are you to judge him?

  • Jimmy the Greek

    What is the problem with dog skin boots ? Your presadent used to eat dog for lunch . i had some my self not bad kind of like lamb , And Hilter never had lamp shades made out of jews that was a lie just like the lie about making sope out of them reachserch it your self

  • LunarDragon

    I almost died laughing bwahahahahaha