George & Wendy Show

Wendy Parker

Oh, what a tangled web we weave

| August 31, 2012

There’s been a lot of press lately about truckers getting into shape. It’s a body-killing profession, with the lack of decent food available and being in the sitting position for hours on end. There are a lot of obese and unhealthy truckers, and I can totally see why, because I gain an average of 5-7 pounds every time I go out.

I consider myself an active person, I like to take walks and be busy. It’s hard to sit all day, so I sometimes go to the bunk and try to do a little exercise. There are a surprising number of yoga positions that can be attained in the confines of a Freightliner bunk, but not all of them are safe.

My husband had gotten out to do whatever it is truckers do for the fifteen minutes before we took off, and I decided to take that time to do a few stretches and get limbered up for the ride. I was doing my little ‘truck yoga’ routine, everything was going fine until I got my foot caught in the cargo net. This probably wouldn’t have been a problem if I hadn’t been in ‘downward facing dog’ position, with my foot hiked up in the air where I couldn’t possible reach it. I tried to shake my leg loose, and my ankle got wrapped even tighter in the net. I was stuck.

For those of you unfamiliar with the interior of a Cascadia, there are a set of cabinets on either side of the bunk. I was on my hands and one knee, facing the wall beside the cabinets. I figured if I could crawl up the cabinet, I could twist around and get my foot loose. I was wrong. I succeeded in pulling the cabinet door open and dragging all of our hanging clothes out on to the floor, but I didn’t get any closer to removing my foot from the net. I was getting frustrated and my ankle was turning blue. About the time I had decided I was going to lose my foot, my husband got back into the truck.

Take a moment to imagine the scene he pulled himself up into. I am literally hanging by one foot in the cargo net, the bedding and all of our clothes are on the floor and the cabinet door is open. He didn’t say a word, he quietly untangled my foot and sat down in the driver’s seat. He had the ‘Disappointed Dad’ look on his face.

“I was trying to be healthy.”

“That was not healthy for either one of us. Please just put everything back and strap yourself in so we can leave.”

“I got a good stretch.”

“Very nice. Let’s just leave, okay?”

“You should try it sometime.”

“I’m pulling out in five seconds, whether or not you’re strapped in. If you get caught in the cargo net again, I’m not getting you loose.”

“I think we should remove the cargo net.”

“I think you should sit down and be quiet for a while.”

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