Dear Carolyn,
I met a really nice gal through a dating website. We hit it off and have so much in common it’s like we were meant to be. Her dad is a trucker so she even understands the life. We’ve made plans to meet in a few weeks and are both very excited to finally get together in real life.
However, I have one big problem. I sent her an old photo of me when I weighed about thirty less pounds. She’s a nice looking woman and very fit. Exercise and nutrition are important to her. I’ve been dieting like crazy since we agreed to meet but I doubt I’ll lose enough in two weeks to make a difference. Should I tell her the truth or just wait and see if she notices? I don’t want her to think I’m a liar. But if I tell the truth, that’s what she’ll think. I swear, I didn’t mean to mislead her but, like the pounds, it snuck up on me and now I don’t know how to fix it.
Please help.
Joey
Dear Joey,
Excuse me while I bang my head against the keyboard. Really Joey? You sent a skinny pic? And you don’t want her to think you lie? Because not telling the truth, the whole truth, is lying. Here’s what you do. Take a pic right now. Smile big, you will need all the charm you can get. Send the pic telling her exactly what you told me, but leave out the part where you say she might not notice. She will.
Fess up and then tell her you are committed to changing your unhealthy ways. After that, it’s up to her to decide if she wants to continue with the relationship. I hope she cuts you some slack because you sound truly sorry. And for anyone out there in dating land. Tell the truth because the truth usually comes out in the end.
Carry on,
Carolyn
