Reality Check

Carolyn Magner

Party like there’s no to-maya!

| December 18, 2012

According to the Mayan calendar, the world will cease to exist after December 21, 2012. Unless you listen to the eggheads at NASA. They are so confident that planet earth will be alive and kicking that they have issued a press release set for December 22. That way, they can say they told you so, in advance.

Here are frequently asked questions:

Q: What is the deal with the Mayan Calendar and why do we care?

A: The Mayans have a 5,125 year calendar that ends on December 21, 2012. That freaks people out because they think it indicates time runs out instead of the calendar simply ends. When my calendar ends, I get a new one and put it on the fridge with a magnet that isn’t quite strong enough to hold it.

Q: Do people actually believe this?

A: According to a Reuters survey of 16,000 people in 21 countries, 10 percent of the population believe the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012.

Q: What about the cosmic disasters hurtling our way?

A: An asteroid could always wipe us out but the people who have the big telescopes say there’s nothing coming our way. I believe them.

Q: Have you heard about a planet named Nibiru?

A: According to NASA experts, this story started with a mythical planet named Nibiru that was supposed to wipe us out in May 2003. When then didn’t happen, the apocalypse was moved to December 2012 to link with the end of the Mayan calendar and the winter solstice. “The planets are not going to align, there is no predicted blackout and the earth’s rotation isn’t going to change directions,” says NASA experts.

Q: So you feel completely confident that it’s all a cosmic joke. What if you are wrong?

A: If I’m wrong, everyone gets a free Custom Rig/Beautiful Girl calendar–my treat.