Regulators: Santa Inc.’s authority revoked over medical cards, hours violations, more

| December 23, 2013

The following bulletin comes by way of the desk of Richard Wilson of TCRG Consulting — see our note at bottom about attempts to verify its accuracy. –Ed.

 

shutterstock_50107477 [Converted].epsSanta Claus, president and owner-operator of Santa Inc., has had his medical card revoked, said a senior Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration official who wished to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of an ongoing investigation. Claus will not be running presents Christmas Eve, at least not on U.S. roadways, over which FMCSA has authority, as the agency has ordered him shut down.   

Investigators and medical specialists, sources say, determined that Claus’ Body Mass Index is well over 35, his neck circumference 20 inches, and thus there’s a high likelihood he has sleep apnea and his medical certification should be contingent on a sleep study. Questioned as to where exactly that was in current regulations, however, they threw up their hands.

But they pointed to Claus’ blood pressure as a more critical issue relative to his medical card’s status: it’s sitting currently at 150/95, perhaps on account of all the cookies and milk he consumes.

And that’s not his only problem this year. He can not show seven prior days’ worth of logs – officials suspect he has not actually been resting during the time but operating a commercial motor vehicle staging presents. It’s clear, at least, that he has not had a 34-hour restart, and if he were to even attempt to use one in the time left before 11:59 p.m. Christmas Eve, he would most certainly violate the hours rules. As we all know, at the North Pole one year is equivalent to 160 hours of time elsewhere on Earth, well below the 168-hour threshold Claus would need to reach prior to beginning any restart.

Furthermore, Claus has not taken a 30-minute break in thousands of years, and he’s racked up far too much on-duty not-driving time in detention at outlets where he picks up toys for the kids, so by any reliable measure the operator is out of hours.

If he wants to try the air exclusively again, as he apparently did last year, the state of Maryland, in cooperation with Federal Aviation Administration, is waiting for him to come within airspace – they plan on shutting him down for bypassing the scales. If they miss him – and we all know Claus has his ways – California is waiting out West to fine him for his reindeers’ violation of state emissions standards.

 

BREAKING:
Turns out Claus also hasn’t paid his EZPass toll account balance from last year – his driving prileges are more than likely suspended throughout most states. Sorry, folks: Looks like Santa will not be on the road, or in the sky, this time around. 

Santa-truck2UPDATE: 
Do not despair, children! When we attempted to reach out to Mr. Claus for confirmation of this grave report, his secretary refused to confirm but did refer us to the FMCSA Register, which showed a Dec. 23 listing for new operating authority granted to Claus LLC. Given the agency’s typical behavior around Christmas, it’s unlikely anybody will notice what for all intents and purposes appears to be what they like to call a “chameleon carrier” until well after the big Christmas run. A happy holiday to everyone! 

  • guest

    Is he an illegal alien?? This is who FMCSA needs to get OFF our highways…..they are flooding into trucking with fake documents and Cops dont do a damn thing…until the ACCIDENT…then in COURT it becomes apparent he is here driving Illegally on fake documents and Licenses he BOUGHT..from crooks atDMV who are also being ARRESTED in increasing Numbers. FMCSA does NOTHING to stop this……if YOUR truck or Family is smashed by an illegal alien TRUCKER..first thing he will do is RUN from the scene either with his Rig or on Foot. Be prepared it happens every day. Cops are more concerned with Stealing Money from AMERICANS than busting these foreigners.

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  • MillionsOfMiles

    Another typical mindless rant from “guest” who has also posted under other names before. If Santa manages to get to your house – hopefully all you get is a lump of coal. Other than that, Merry Christmas and get some counseling next year – you need it.

  • 2.53 million and counting

    Man this “guest” has a serious hangup.
    Really, get some counseling.
    You do know that those “aliens” are governed by the same stick as you and me.
    waaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy off topic!
    Get a life…

  • Cumminsapart

    Oh no, not only are illegal immigrants such a concern but now gotta watch for low flyin’ illegal aliens. Merry Christmas to all !

  • Stormy

    Guest, take a break and a chill pill. You might try a sip or two of Southern nog, if you are off duty, of course.

    Merry Christmas, all. Hope everybody has a safe one.

  • jim stewart

    sadly what the guest says is partially true even though it does stray from the funny holiday article by Todd Dills… these illegals are a serious problem behind the wheel here in the east. the majority do flee from the accident scene or just don’t bother show for court. i know from seeing it first had happen to other truckers or innocent children in an auto. I have had two serious accidents with them. (both times they ran signals and plowed into my rig., they were behind the wheel of a commercial vehicle. it’s the same story no insurance, no responsible party to collect damages from, my insurance in both cases goes up because my UN-insured commercial vehicle insurance(which i now religiously purchase) has to pay for all damages to my truck and the last time i had costly medical bills and watched them take off from the accident scene while i was stilled pinned in the cab. NO they didn’t bother show up for court because I was there to testify against them. the judge issued an order but that will never be carried out. they are log gone disappearing into the masses. yes, the feds need to launch a much more aggressive roundup at these trucking companies who are known to hire such people and quit with the damn fear of offending some group or being politically incorrect. anyone who denies this actually goes on out here is living a sheltered life.. i have been out here 47 years so if i have to play by the rules every damn body else better be too. this is just another reason rates are so stinking cheap. i welcome for anyone to explain to me why this should be allowed to continue while we bear the cost of their actions in more ways than one!!!

  • leroy

    disable their trucks

  • Superduper

    Geez! When did all you guys get so sensitive? LOL, out my way roadblock, runaway truck comin through! SOBS want their groceries! What log book? I ain’t haulin logs! Damn you dumb. License? On the truck man. And yeah the load is insured, thanks for askin, and I am sure they charged me tax at the fuel stop. Who don’t? IFTA? Ifta morrow is friday, I am already a day late. What do ya mean I am a day ahead? I ain’t got time to step out of the vehicle officer. Catch ya next time. I’m kinda in a hurry.

  • PattyCakes

    ….. I heard he was ‘ Over-length ‘ …. forgot to include Rudolph’s nose in his measurement

    …………… given Warning for no ‘ DoT Reflective Tape ‘ on the rear of his Sleigh

  • ilovdieselsmoke

    i feel for u guys because this was my last year trucking. i’ve been out here 32 years. yr right the the illegals are taking over the highways.
    the trucking companies are extremely happy because these illegals will work for peasant wages and run 24/7.pretty soon the highways should really become a
    killing field thanks to wall street and their greedy cronies from
    around the world. trucking didn’t have to go south of the Bordon because
    corporate america has managed to bring the cheap steering wheel holders to our doorstep. i am
    just wondering how these corporate giants will sell all the expensive new cars,houses,home
    products to these new poverty level workers when america is totally transformed
    into just another third world country?i never thought that i would see our stinking in washington leadership sell this country but somehow while we were asleep america was placed up for sale to the highest bidder or maybe i should say socialist lobbyist group!.

  • diamondT

    the reason why you don’t see articles on this subject is because the trucking media doesn’t want to offend any future readers. they know that long time born raised here American truckers are being pushed out of the system to make way for this massive invasion of foreigners who find it easy to obtain jobs in trucking. they work for pennies on the dollar while half the family lives in the truck. even Stevie Wonder can see what’s going on here hand!

  • norman ott

    Santa, Outlaw trucker, always runs after dark.

  • Cumminsapart

    Merry Christmas to all and i hope you are with family or at least you are where you want to be.

  • g

    Exactly what has happened..the Browning of America….our “good neighbors from the South” have been INVITED by corp America to Flood in here and take over.

  • guest

    You will need the counseling on a New Job when you are replaced by a foreigner. The senators in Calif have stated on Television that American truckers will simply have to be Retrained for other jobs as we are REPLACED by LOW Paid truckers in the mexican Pilot Program….You have no concern….you are probably an illegal alien.

  • guest

    No actually they DONT follow OUR rules…they are here illegally, they have Fake documents…dont pay taxes…run illegally..Internet is filled with Court Cases where the Kook Driver was an illegal alien…they dont follow ANY rules..why would they? They just want Money….

  • guest

    Thank You Jim Stewart…you made my case…this is a Growing Disaster for the American Trucker….cops do NOTHING….this adds to the disaster.

  • gary brown

    US citizens will be picking vegetables on the wal/mart family acreage in mexico before it’s over. dumb down north america is the new vision of our banker leadership in congress. truck drivers work in central america now for five bucks a day and are behind the wheel at age thirteen so let’s open the border wider. $.25/.33 cents per mile is a bloody fortune to them especially since they’re sending the majority of that money back home. just like these sleeezy companies who constantly advertise competitive pay. another word for i will get the new hire to work cheaper than the last guy who i just starved out.

  • guest

    True….The American Trucker MUST keep jumping thru Gov. Hoops..MUST be Certified in every facet..from eyes,weight, Possble Apnea, blood pressure, Taxes, Logs, Insurance…However there are QUESTIONABLE mexican drivers in every truckstop…many are placed OUT OF SERVICE..Violating Driver Fitness..cant understand or READ English…hmmm is that a RED FLAG?? Yes..they are CRIMINAL ALIENS. hmmm WE have to OBEY all these NEW RULES but we must LIVE with CRIMINAL ALIENS and assorted FOREIGN CROOKS??? This seems like a RIP OFF of the American Trucker…why do WE have to OBEY, COMPLY etc….when we are Parked every night with CRIMINALS who DONT follow these RULES at all?

  • guest

    So TRUE….this is the Real piss off…WE must be saddled with all these NEW RULES…while questionable STATUS foreign “truckers” flood our Industry like they did in Construction….apparently TRUCKING is Targeted as the next industry to employ 98% CHEAP foreigners…Each day WE are wrestling with a NEW stifling RULE for operating and in thru the Driveways come Non English Speaking foreigners with falsified everything….These foreigners are CRIMINALS..operating on FALSE names..just to BEGIN with….this is a SLAP in the FACE to Every American Trucker inthe industry who is TRYING to comply with the MULTITUDE of constraining NEW RULES..while COPS allow CRIMINALS to operate freely thruout America. I dont think COPS have ever ARRESTED one of these Foreign INVADERS..it would be politically incorrect????

  • TruckerJohn

    Rudolph’s nose is not the required “Amber Color” either!!! Didn’t order any OD permits either!!!

  • Dave

    Insurance is against Islamist religion. How in the hell are they aloud to get away with this. Driving down our highways. If they are hired, then the company should be responsible for anything they screw up. This was told to me from a company out of Illinois. My question was”What the hell are you doing hiring them? “. They didn’t sign me on. BROKE MY HEART!!!

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  • g

    iLLi Noise and Calif have New Laws that give iLLegal aliens a DRIVER LICENCE…iLLinoise is hiring every Russian and Pakistanny they can find to drive truck…No Citizenship? No problem…12CPM guarantee..hurry on down…Free training….

  • Richard Wilson

    Damn, It was supposed to be a HA HA not a illegal Political rant. Sorry We ever got this crap started with a Christmas story, Guess Santa was an Illegal Alien, not an ELF, I guess with this bunch you might add I.C.E. as well go after Santa!

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