Should I "friend" her?

| October 30, 2009

Dear Carolyn,

Thirty years ago I broke up with my high school girl friend an hour before our senior prom. I left for the army a few weeks later and eventually settled into the life of a long haul trucker. We happen to live in the same general area now even though I’ve never run into her since that day I left her high and dry..
I’ve always felt rotten about how I treated her and have often thought about writing her a letter of apology and including a check for the dress and shoes she didn’t get to wear. However, I never acted upon the thought.
Fast forward to a few days ago. My son set me up on Facebook and within a few minutes, I found her.
I’ve been divorced for years and I see by her status that she’s a divorcee. She’s also aged pretty well– not that that’s important to me.
Well. Yes it is. But you already know I’m a jerk.
Anyway. What should I do? Should I “friend” her? Should I wait to see if she “friends” me? Is there proper etiquette regarding online contact?

Brian

Dear Brian,
Wow, you are into proper etiquette? I would have never guessed. Okay, so I’ll grant you a pass due to the statue of limitations. We should not be held responsible for our high school behavior. Or, at least it shouldn’t be a life sentence.
I think you should “friend” her. If she accepts, I think it would be appropriate to apologize for your caddish behavior back in the day and offer to treat her to a nice diner somewhere.

Be prepared for three decades of pent up rage. Or not. She may very well say, Brian who?
That’s what I’d advise her to say.
But she’s not writing to me.
Yet.
Just Say’n

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