George & Wendy Show

Wendy Parker

Sleepy McSleep and the howling Wonders

| April 30, 2014

 

Hear Wendy's howling dogs in the vid below...
Hear Wendy’s howling dogs in the vid below…

I’ve come to sleep better in the truck than in my own bed. It probably has something to do with the fact that we don’t travel with our dogs, so their sonic farts and efforts to alert the entire universe when a train goes by are fruitless. Our dogs are so old, they ate table scraps from the Last Supper. We adopted the mode of letting them do whatever they want to do, because they’re old, assuming they would die soon and the bad habits would die with them. That was five years ago, and now they’re both so deaf they can’t hear themselves howling at the train. They’ve also permanently damaged the olfactory senses of anyone who regularly sleeps within a half-mile radius of them with nighttime farts that smell so bad they can raise a tired trucker from a dead sleep.



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When we idle the truck, it’s like sleeping inside a giant, purring cat. Especially with the beefy motor in the Precious. She bubbles and purrs and pops me right to sleep, within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. It’s truly the best “sleep sound” I have.

I’m not so easily led to slumber when we’re not idling. I have a hard time sleeping when people are yelling at one another, or catching a screaming third, or just generally being assy at night, when decent people are trying to sleep. I started using one of the “sleep sound” apps on my phone, and finally settled on the “rain on tin roof” as my favorite sleep-inducing noise. It sounds just like rain on the roof of our farmhouse (and the truck), but forgoes the howling dogs and rancid smells of home.

Having a sleep sound is great, unless your sleep sound happens to be rain and you need to be awake and alert and it happens to be raining. As much as I enjoy the benefit of being able to sleep better, I’ve noticed a decided drawback to having rain as a sleep inducer.

We had a corporate meeting this week, and it was raining when we were getting ready to leave. George was just slightly nervous (not about the meeting – he doesn’t get nervous about meetings, he gets nervous about what I might say during the meetings).

“Hey, you ready to go get ‘em today?”

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“I’m sleepy. I wish it wasn’t raining. I’ve got myself trained to fall asleep when I hear rain sounds. I hope they don’t have a tin roof at this place.”

“Well you can’t sleep through the meeting!”

“Really? Because I was thinking of just rolling in and saying ‘Hi’ to Mark, then falling face first on the floor, asleep. I think that would make quite an impression, no?”

“You can take a nap on the way up, OK?”

“I’m not going to sleep through the meeting, babe. Don’t worry. But I was thinking about taking one of the dogs, you know, as an icebreaker. He could howl and fart us into infamy with this company.”

“Somehow, I don’t think we’ll need the dog for infamy — your solo act is fine for that.”

“If I wasn’t so sleepy, I’d say you just insulted me…”

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  • James

    LMAO-A buddy of mine has a couple of dogs with the same affliction as yours. They have an ability to move the food you just ate from in here to out there with the relaxing of just one little muscle,while looking like absolute angels.
    Thanks for the story-I love your writings…

  • Gayle Glass

    Love this, Wendy. I so identify with 1) rain sounds and 2) the dogs. I have dogs that raise cane if a leaf blows by! And fart – they look around, just like we do, to see if they can blame it on somebody else.
    Keep up th posts!

  • Mark

    I’m so glad that I made mention in one of your blogs….and it has to be the dog fart edition……yay me ! Great meeting, though.

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