fast-food

Super-sizitis

"I'm starting the 'Regular Size Movement.' I'm going to order Happy Meals without having a child present and refuse to upsize for 99 cents."

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The Whataburger connection

...to alien abduction? Yes: "Poor George has the implant, and he's unable to fight the urges of the evil radio signals that emit from it, even under great duress."

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Dining options galore back home yield surprising choice

"For all my moaning about not having a lot of choices on the road, when I do have a choice, I choose something I can get on the road. I don't know if it means I'm just a gripe, or I miss the road so much I need to taste it somehow."

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Hold the condiments, please!

"This public service message brought to you by someone who knows, because I suffer from 'no condiment disorder.'... Remain calm and carry on, and we'll all get through this together."

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