"I'm starting the 'Regular Size Movement.' I'm going to order Happy Meals without having a child present and refuse to upsize for 99 cents."
...to alien abduction? Yes: "Poor George has the implant, and he's unable to fight the urges of the evil radio signals that emit from it, even under great duress."
"For all my moaning about not having a lot of choices on the road, when I do have a choice, I choose something I can get on the road. I don't know if it means ...
"This public service message brought to you by someone who knows, because I suffer from 'no condiment disorder.'... Remain calm and carry on, and we'll all get through this together."
Sign up to get Overdrive's daily newsletter.