humor

Schedule down the rabbit hole

Wendy Parker on detention: "What kind of idiot arrives at a warehouse and expects people to unload their truck? (This is thinly veiled sarcasm. OK, completely unveiled sarcasm.)"

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Accidental truck stop heartbreaker

"I had not only been sitting directly under the wing vents singing like a maniac, I was screaming lyrics that, when heard without the benefit of the actual music, could be misconstrued."

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In search of extraterrestrial intelligence

Parker: “The aliens will talk to me for sure. They probably remember me from when I was abducted as a child.”

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Fear and loathing at the Salton Sea: Mummies don’t talk

“You’re conversing with someone who’s afraid of wombat infestation in California while scooping dinosaur cat poop into a bag as a present for your dad. I don’t think any useless fact you have stored in your giant brain will make any of this OK.”

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Middle of Nowhere, Ariz., with cattle, aliens…

Wendy and George find themselves on a cow path in the middle of the night in Arizona: "When George Parker is driving and he says, 'This isn’t good,' it means you’re potentially about to experience a fiery death crash."...

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Surly teenagers: No match for crazy

What happens when 15-year-old surliness runs up against Wendy Parker's natural reason for being -- more than just a little Yoda-speak involved, it is.

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Helping a friend out

"If you can affect one person in a positive way today, you've done your job as a human being. Otherwise, you're an alien."

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Clear and present danger in Weed, Calif.

"You should probably Google 'surviving Sasquatch attack' while you're lying in the fetal position waiting for a bear to eat your face off.”...

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Hawk to DOT: “Point me to the nearest roadkill?”

What happens when a bird of prey tries to communicate with a DOT traffic camera? It makes for good humor on Twitter.

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Jesus and an alien walk into a …

Ever wonder what happens when you're on the verge of veritable alien abduction? This story's a pretty good description of it.

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