satire

Thing-a-ma-bobs is dangerous

Thing-a-ma-bobs is dangerous

"This just in!! The super-popular 'Thing-a-ma-bob,' hottest toy on the market for Christmas 2016 and manufactured in Wehateamericastan, has been reported to cause hair loss and possible self-immolation!" ...

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How Elves Trucking LLC got back in service — just in the nick of time

How Elves Trucking LLC got back in service -- just in the nick of time

A guest Channel 19 post from the desk of Richard Wilson and TCRG Consulting: "The DOT elves were on the prowl only to find a jolly old sleigh driver elf with a time card instead of a logbook on hand. ..."

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The Haven

The Haven

Wendy's parody of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" poem details an encounter with a local LEO tap tap tapping on the driver's door: "I'm here for sleep, and nothing more."

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A brief history of extortion

A brief history of extortion

From the ship of Captain John Jacob Brake: "Our ship was lured to the aid of the nefarious Captain Lucifer Von Ahab with a false appointment time, and we were snared in the grasp of his safety ropes before he viciously raised the grocery warehouse flag."

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Let’s go truckin’

Let's go truckin'

"Who wouldn't want to hit the wide open road for a few weeks? All the freedom and glamor, not to mention making tons of money while traveling. But first, you gotta get legal ... Just make sure you've got enough left over to pay the lumpers."

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Mortality is no longer a lawful option

Mortality is no longer a lawful option

“We as a Nation are safe and we must strive to be safer. In order to prove how safe we are, we are introducing legislation that makes dying a federal offense, punishable by a frownie face on your CIA dossier and up to ten years in the pen.”

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When Bessie’s butt attacks

When Bessie's butt attacks

"I have it on good authority that by the year 2020, all cow butts will be equipped with DPF systems." ... On the upside, noted a glass-half-full type of observer: "When the DPF catches fire, you got steaks!”

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PROBE goes on the warpath

PROBE goes on the warpath

This just in: Everything is banned, and what isn't banned is immediately and henceforth considered offensive and/or dangerous to the entire human condition.

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Canada to move to Mexico if Trump is elected

Canada to move to Mexico if Trump is elected

As this report was going to press, developing news suggested Mexico had fired back with an announcement it would be relocating to Canada if Hillary Clinton is elected President of the United States in November, causing much concern over whether or not there will be a tear in the space-time continuum when migrating countries collide.

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Confessions of a two-timing writer

Confessions of a two-timing writer

Wendy asks for forgiveness for fiction: "I'll make it up by continuing to report the real-life road weird, and promise to never intertwine the two -- unless, of course, I'm telling one of my filthy lies."

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