satire

Regulators: Santa Inc.’s authority revoked over medical cards, hours violations, more

When we attempted to reach out to Mr. Claus for confirmation of this grave report, his secretary referred us to the FMCSA Register, which showed a Dec. 23 listing for new operating authority granted to Claus LLC.

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On the trail of the elusive budget

Wendy Parker runs it down: "Most members of Congress were unable to respond, as they were too busy practicing reading 'Green Eggs and Ham' for their dramatic and uninspired filibusters."

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Wash hands, prevent crashes

I have it on good authority the FMCSA will be unveiling their “We are the Borg” campaign sometime next year. It will require drivers to look directly into an inward-facing dashcam every 30 seconds and moo.

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FMCSA calling off so-called ‘red-shirt mandate’

FMCSA is conducting an internal review of all enforcement activities after the Truck-Regulation Public-Comment-Believability Index (TRPCBI) measure associated with the red-shirt NPRM flew into "way too positive" territory.

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Breaking: Regulators apologize for delaying Santa

Regulators have determined the Claus operation is an imminent hazard to the motoring public and have ordered Santa to cease operation effective immediately.

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The drones keep coming — for your freight?

Apologies for a post-less Tuesday, which regular Channel 19 readers no doubt noticed. I had a mini-vacation with friends and family -- hearing news of the SpaceX launch in the auto on the way home to Nashville, I couldn't help but think of owner-operator blogger Phil Madsen's greatest post of all time, which in my view may well have been this one. In it, Madsen imagines a nighmarish future of airborne DOT drones policing all manner ...

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Red alert: Get your uniform or else!

Now that the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration has begun to reach its long regulatory arm into your daily dress, drivers are sounding off in record numbers. “This is just taking it too far,” said owner-operator Bob Mandible of Blue Gill, Ohio, of the new red shirt requirement, joining the fast-growing chorus. “The agency has produced no evidence proving I will be less safe if I just wear my standard brown Dickies work shirt rather than ...

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Four-wheeler: ‘I am so sick of 18-wheelers!’

Over the transom today in Overdrive's Nashville bureau here, as my office is often known among the editors in Alabama, came this letter. So much for sharing the road! Dear editor,I am so sick of 18-wheelers. They are always in the way. Who needs them? I sure don’t. They never seem to do the speed limit. They cause far too many problems. They go through town in the right lane we need to use to get ...

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Go Guy ‘pocket urinal’ pitchman ‘Go Cousin Vinny’

"As spring approaches," runs the latest press release from the makers of the Go Guy pocket urinal (motto: "When there is nowhere to go, go where you are"), "more truckers will be heading out onto the open road to haul their wares from state to state" -- a pretty blanket statement, but likely valid considering historical seasonal upticks. "And in light of this," the release continues, "U-R-IN Control ... has a dire warning this spring for ...

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Modest proposal: ‘Let regulators have what they want’

Today, a dispatch from driver and radio host Big Al Weekley (pictured), the man behind the streaming Dispatch Me Home Radio Network site. It comes in response to Nabisco hauler Buddy Wenners' modest proposal to regulators to skip all the preamble and really just do what they really seem to want to do, "ban truck driving," posted to the blog here last Friday. While Weekley says he initially responded with plenty of empathy for the sentiment, ...

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