wendy parker

Bad directions to places that don’t exist

We circled the block for another ten minutes. The vein in my husband's head started to throb.

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Roadside attraction: Arkansas’ weird critters

As it got close to dusk, the hoards of creatures started appearing by the side of the road.

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Pet peeves on the road

Things don't need to be any harder on the road, and the few things I've noticed that do make it worse could be easily remedied.

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Facial hair swings both ways

There's a guy out there in an old Mack somewhere who has a three foot long, white beard he parts in the middle and throws over his shoulders like Rapunzel's locks.

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Dealing with unexpected things

People acted like they didn't know we were coming. "What? You've got a truckload full of stuff we ordered? How did that happen?"

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Warnings of rattlesnakes and other disturbing signage

I have noticed the closer you get to downtown in big cities, the number of DUI attorney billboards grows exponentially.

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Keeping gnomes and frogs at bay

I squinted out over the lot and saw, to my amazement, an entire army of garden gnomes. They were absolutely terrifying.

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Not noticing the oddities of life on the road

It's crazy out there, and I love it. Nothing is ever the same, there's always something to look at.

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‘No’ means ‘no,’ you little tyrant

It’s a busy season at the travel plaza, families are out in droves during the summer, forcing their bratty children upon the innocent public.

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Those annoying truck stop peacocks

We’ve been sleeping at truck stops this trip. Mostly because it’s been convenient and there are showers, but also because even in the wide open spaces of the Dakotas, no one wants to let a trucker park to sleep. Assfaces. A pox on them and their ugly children. Pulling into a crowded truck stop after dark is exactly the same thing as walking into a bar. You can immediately spot the girls who took three hours ...

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