I’ve recently discovered our truck isn’t the only one with a black hole. I had hoped to leave this odd phenomenon behind when we bought The Precious, but alas, she too has the power to absorb tangible items from one area and make them reappear in another — which would technically be a wormhole, and not a black hole, but the items don’t always re-appear, so we’re going with black hole. This became painfully evident the last time I was searching for an errant shower shoe.
I’ve become really proficient at keeping all my shower stuff in one bag. I’ve learned how distressing it is to be inside the truck stop bathroom, drying off from the shower, only to realize my clean bra and underwear are in the truck. I’ve sauntered out of the shower area more than once with a bird’s nest on my head, because I forgot to cram my comb into the bag. Suffice it to say, I’ve gathered my public shower lessons the hard way.
Being that shower shoes are actually more important than soap to me, I have a little slot in my bag they slip nicely into, so I can remove them from my feet, disinfect them with fire, and keep them in my bag when I’m done showering. For some bizarre reason, when I go to grab my gear, I’m always missing the right shower shoe. It’s like a prophecy. Apparently, I’m also going to lose my right foot at some future juncture, but that’s a story for another time. I generally spend about fifteen minutes cursing and shaking my fists, while I search for the shoe before showering. I always find it in the weirdest places, like behind the fridge or crammed between the bunk and the cabinet. I have accused George of trying to make me crazier more than once, but then I realize that makes no sense, because he’s the only one who suffers when I’m cray cray.
I thought I really was crazy until Dennis Mintling told me the tale of the disappearing bra and sunglasses. He related a story about two separate items that went missing and were both found later, in odd places, in the Mintlingmobile. The story goes, there was a pair of expensive sunglasses that went missing – Dennis assumed someone took them out of the truck when he had work done on it. He and Michelle both looked everywhere for the glasses, before considering them a loss, and chalking it up to theft. Somewhere around the same period of time, a bra of Michelle’s disappeared. This happened after Dennis did the laundry at a laundromat, so it was assumed the bra was left behind.Time passes, Michelle gets a new bra, and one day, Dennis notices the sunglasses sitting on the dash. He mentions to Michelle how happy he is she found the glasses, only to be met with a blank stare. She didn’t find the glasses — she assumed he did. Nope. Not too long after that, Michelle asks Dennis where he found her bra they thought was left behind, only to be met with a blank stare. Dennis didn’t find the bra, for all he knew, it was still missing. Creepy much? There’s only one explanation.
So needless to say, I now wear a tinfoil hat when I’m around the Mintlings. Also, there are forces inside the cabs of our trucks we don’t understand. The black holes exist – you’re definitely not crazy.