Reality Check

Carolyn Magner

Too much togetherness?

| August 10, 2012

Dear Carolyn,

My last chick is flying out of the nest in a few weeks and I’m feeling very blue. I am planning to join my husband on the road as soon as she’s settled into her dorm. It’s something we’ve always wanted to do after the children were grown. However, I’m getting cold feet. It seems like a huge commitment to be together, in a cab, for weeks at a time. All of our married life has been filled with separations. We did a good job raising our children and saving money but now, I’m starting to worry about the next stage. He gets very upset when I mention my concerns.

What do you think? Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Jill

 

Dear Jill,

I think you are experiencing normal qualms about change. Nobody likes change except a wet baby. I’m not sure I could spend weeks on end with anyone! So, here’s what you do. Join him for a few trips. See how it goes. Get adjusted. Make a list of the things you need to be comfortable. The road life may suit you to a tee or it may not. It’s hard to know until you go. But it doesn’t have to be a reflection on your marriage if it turns out not to be a good fit. Your marriage and how well you manage stuffed together in a rolling box are two different things. Take it one step at a time.

Just say’n,

Carolyn

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