George & Wendy Show
"Either the Benadryl is working its magic, or a profound sense of clarity has come over me. I think I know how to end the crisis in the Middle East."
"Fall is almost here again and I'm excited because (A) football starts, and (B) people start wearing clothes again."
Mr. Canoodle "has a meeting about the meeting he's in now at one-thirty, then he's traveling to the Fairy Coast to have a meeting about another meeting he had last week...."
"I have never had such an extreme adverse reaction to the very air I breathe as I did the first time we went through Southern California..." and more from the land of the plugged nose.
"A beautiful woman is often pleasing to look at because she has an inner light and makes everything around her prettier."
"This public service message brought to you by someone who knows, because I suffer from 'no condiment disorder.'... Remain calm and carry on, and we'll all get through this together."
"And there's the time we were riding along in Arizona desert in the dark one night -- I was already nervous about being abducted by aliens...."
Latest get-rich-quick scheme: Full-service tire chain changing lane. "Just remember, people thought the Wright Brothers were crazy, too."
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