George & Wendy Show
"I want the exact same computer I had before, with the exact same hardware, only new and not bashed up from 30K miles in an 18 wheeler. Try explaining this simple concept to one of The Borg who man the counters at Best Buy."
"Probably not the best idea in the world to have something that makes random "pop pop" sounds in a warehouse crammed full of Black Cats and Everclear."
"I'm not the only weird thing on the road. Keep your tinfoil hats close and beware the aliens in flatbeds."
"A tornado was coming and my own Mother heaved a queen-size mattress into a 4-by-6 bathroom with one arm while simultaneously dragging and throwing me under it with the other. She broke the door off the hinges."
"The trifecta. First: giant, billboard-sized boobies are a definite distraction, I don't care who you are... Second, get a CDL in three days? On what planet is this legal or sane?"
"Life is easier when you can read people. Any situational outcome is pretty much decided in the first five seconds of the transaction."
"While I don't think it's necessary to wear a tie to garner respect, I do feel it's necessary to properly cover your genitals when in public. Please. For the love of God."
"The more truckers I meet, the more I realize the good ones really are patient people" and other notes on merging.
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