George & Wendy Show
"When the grid actually does shut down and we have to fend for ourselves, there are going to be some very surprised and ill-prepared Starbucks-swilling scarf wearers out there."
" The spiders in South Texas are so big they strap saddles to them and put them in rodeos. Small children who make a scene by screaming for Starbucks in the food court are fed to them."
"I think riding in a big truck for a day should be part of every driver's education class given. These kids need to have the view I do for a day..."
"You'd be amazed at how many bad words you can call someone during the drum solo of 'In the Air Tonight' if it's turned up loud enough."
Last night Wendy's home town council voted down the restrictive two-hour truck parking ordinance they'd approved just two weeks prior. Here's why.
“I'll be quiet forever when the evil monkey brutally murders me. Oh look, is that an ultralight? Dang, it's awful cold for an ultralight.”
"We've seen some weird things on flatbeds. Hell, we've seen some weird things strapped to four-wheelers, like the giant hammerhead shark we saw on the roof of a Honda Accord...."
"I don't know if any of you noticed, but Earth was recently invaded openly by aliens in the form of giant meteorites... If you're looking for me, I'll be over here under the catwalk in the fetal position."
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