George & Wendy Show

Trip-planning for dummies

"Speaking of Jersey, does anyone know how effective kevlar is against Jersey Devil bites? Should I pack the chain mail instead? Never can be too prepared."

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A night at the movies

"Before I was able to extricate myself from the building, I was compelled to buy a $50 tub of popcorn."

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On tact and being tactile

"I see approximately seven hundred things I want to touch every time we stop. Unfortunately, five to six hundred of these things are usually attached to other people or their property."

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Price of freedom — and a historic smackdown!

"A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people." --Thomas Jefferson, 1776

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Diagnosing ‘do as I say’ disorder

"I'm heading to the eye doctor as soon as the Tyrannosaurus Rex clears out of the driveway. The thing shows up every Friday and eats my trash."

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Going somewhere

Philosophy on the places you'll go: "You don't have to like it all, but you need to experience it, at least see it with your own eyes before passing judgment."

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Threats from children

It's summertime, school is out and the travel plaza food courts are full of whining six-year-olds, demanding Whoppers and $5 coffees from Starbucks.

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Preventing Roomba suicide

Clean, clean, clean: "You see, no matter how easy technology makes things for us, we are still a necessary part of the equation."

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Unwanted pests

The strange things we do when in combat with an enemy, even a fruit fly.

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Finer than frog’s hair

"If you're around and you're listening, Daddy, happy Father's day and thanks for the sense of humor. It has seen me through more heartache than drugs or money and it has remained intact, unlike the flaming go-cart of death you built for us in '82."

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