George & Wendy Show
"The first 200 miles of the trip are always the worst -- I'm sure every car is following us. After about 200 miles, I forget what's in the box and fixate on something else. Hey look, a squirrel!"
"Throw my sandwiches away all you want, but you're missing out on a yummy treat, and you will not squash my sparkle today. So there."
We went to Pepper Beach, and I think it's probably one of the nicest public beaches I've ever been to.
"I want the exact same computer I had before, with the exact same hardware, only new and not bashed up from 30K miles in an 18 wheeler. Try explaining this simple concept to one of The Borg who man the counters at Best Buy."
"Probably not the best idea in the world to have something that makes random "pop pop" sounds in a warehouse crammed full of Black Cats and Everclear."
"I'm not the only weird thing on the road. Keep your tinfoil hats close and beware the aliens in flatbeds."
"A tornado was coming and my own Mother heaved a queen-size mattress into a 4-by-6 bathroom with one arm while simultaneously dragging and throwing me under it with the other. She broke the door off the hinges."
"The trifecta. First: giant, billboard-sized boobies are a definite distraction, I don't care who you are... Second, get a CDL in three days? On what planet is this legal or sane?"
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