George & Wendy Show

Why I leave truck stop gabbing to my husband

My husband will speak to any human being within earshot. Actually, most of the time, they speak to him first.

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Identifying black, furry things

Her look said something to the effect of, "Please leave here before you stupid yourself to death in the parking lot."

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Notes on death and laughter

No matter how dismal things seem, if you can find one thing to laugh about, you've won.

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More here than meets the eye

I've held out on the glasses thing. I tell myself as long as I can see the computer to type, I'm good.

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The high price of notoriety

It's a completely strange experience to walk into a truck stop and see a whole rack of magazines with your picture on the front.

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Trying to master the fine art of negotiating

We can't have one income and keep the truck, the house, the car and groceries, and we don't want to give the children away.

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The upside of being dirty

If you don't give your body a chance to experience germs, it won't know what to do when it meets them.

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A narrow escape from Automatic Hell

The world has become an automatic place. Even in the most remote areas of Minnesota, sinks, hand dryers and toilets at the rest stops are automated. People actually believe this is good, but as a person who knows the truth (there’s no such thing as automatic, everything is operated by tiny demons who long to make your bathroom experience as harrowing as possible), I fear automation is going to be what kills me. Apparently, I am ...

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Oh, what a tangled web we weave

There's been a lot of press lately about truckers getting into shape. It's a body-killing profession, with the lack of decent food available and being in the sitting position for hours on end. There are a lot of obese and unhealthy truckers, and I can totally see why, because I gain an average of 5-7 pounds every time I go out. I consider myself an active person, I like to take walks and be busy. It's ...

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Bad directions to places that don’t exist

We circled the block for another ten minutes. The vein in my husband's head started to throb.

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