george & wendy show

Wendy Parker

For your dining (or building) pleasure

I’m always on the lookout for better food choices to have in our truck pantry. We have a fridge and microwave now — the healthy options have expanded exponentially. Having the ability to stock good food is one thing, finding things we’ll actually eat is another.

I go to the grocery with the same information every time. I know what George will and will not eat, it’s pretty easy. Anything green is completely out of the question, more meat is better, and bread is a commandment. I myself am a picky eater, with a strict “no condiment” rule. I’m also squeamish about things being mixed together – I’m not much for salads and casseroles, unless they involve tomato sauce, cheese and pasta. It’s not easy finding things we’ll both eat and enjoy that are good for us.

Cloud cakeOur fridge is tiny, so I try to choose healthy dry foods and snacks – power bars and nuts. I’ve attempted to make granola bars, but there were unkind comments made about them tasting like Styrofoam, so I leave it up to Nature Valley and Clif Bars to keep us stocked on those. I try really hard to make sure we have good stuff, but I’m not denying the presence of Little Debbie, lurking in the pantry behind the crasins and peanuts.

“Hey babe, I’m feeling a little hungry – hand me a Cloud Cake.”

“How about a banana?”

“If I wanted a banana, I would have asked for a banana. Can I have a Cloud Cake, please?”

“I have something better than a Cloud Cake. Try a Clif Bar. It’s organic.”

“C’mon, babe. Just give me a Cloud Cake.”

“I’m just trying to love you, that’s all. I want you to be around for a minute. Cloud Cakes will kill you. They’re called Cloud Cakes because they send you to heaven.”


Trucking with toaster ovens

Trucking with toaster ovens

"How awesome will it be to ride down the road with the delicious aroma of crock-pot roast wafting around?" If you have recommendations for Wendy ...

“No. They’re called Cloud Cakes because they can’t call them ‘Fake Twinkies.’ And I love you too. I’ll eat the Clif Bar.”

“Really? For me? That’s awesome! Which one? The cherry almond-flax crunch or the peanut chocolate oat?”

“I would like the one that doesn’t taste like drywall, please.”

“I don’t think any of them taste like drywall. How can peanuts and chocolate taste like drywall?”

“Who knows? You made granola taste like Styrofoam. Weirder things have happened.”


Hold the condiments, please!

Hold the condiments, please!

"This public service message brought to you by someone who knows, because I suffer from 'no condiment disorder.'... Remain calm and carry on, and we'll ...

And this is where I should have admitted my granola bars did indeed taste like Styrofoam, but instead, I threw a Clif Bar in his lap and ignored his efforts to be endearing by exclaiming loudly how much the Clif Bar definitely did not taste like drywall the entire time he was eating it.

Sometimes, healthy choices are difficult.

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