I'm Just Say'n

Brat pack

Husband-to-be lets children treat his sweetheart poorly


Dear Carolyn,

Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Email Carolyn at [email protected].

I am dating a really awesome guy and we are talking about getting married this summer. However, there’s one big problem that I can’t seem to overcome: His kids, ages 9, 14 and 17, all hate me. They either ignore me like I am invisible or they go out of their way to say nasty, unprovoked things to me. I don’t have kids, but I like them for the most part. But these creatures are heinous. My sweetie apologizes for them but doesn’t do anything about it. The bad news is that he has full custody. I don’t know if I can live this way.

What do you think?

Celia

Dear Rock,

Welcome to Hard Place. Because if he’s got custody and he doesn’t do anything to stick up for you now, it sure as heck isn’t going to be better once you are married. I would go low and slow on this one.

I’m just say’n.

Carolyn


Holidays a difficult time for the lonely

Dear Carolyn,

The holidays are always tough on me. I’m divorced and have two kids I don’t get to see much. I’m on the road all the time and so I don’t really have the opportunity to date or meet women. I know I could look online or go to singles clubs or all of that. But it’s just too much effort. Usually, I don’t care. My wife was way more trouble than she was worth. But I miss my kids, and my life feels empty. I see a lot of guys in my same situation and the truth is we have a lonely life out here.

I don’t really have a question for you. I’m just say’n.

Bill

Dear Bill,

I hear ya. Sometimes when I give advice I realize it’s easier said than done. But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean some of my suggestions don’t pay off. I hear from guys just like you who stuck their neck out, got involved in a sport or a charity or a cause and found someone they never thought they would.

The holidays, even for happily marrieds, can bring unrealistic expectations that everyone is having way more fun than you.

Then the commercials come on.

I’m just say’n.

Carolyn


Husband’s a hoarder, wife’s fed up

Dear Carolyn,

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My husband is almost a hoarder. I mean, his truck is full of junk. It takes 20 minutes to clear off his bunk just to sit on it! I nag, beg, threaten, but he refuses to throw out what he says is his “stuff.”

What exactly is the difference between “stuff” and “junk?”

Patrice

Dear Patrice,

Junk = stuff we throw away. Stuff = junk we keep.

Happy to help!

I’m just say’n.

Carolyn

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Don’t revisit old sins with new loved ones

Dear Carolyn,

My conscience is killing me. Years ago I had a fling with a married woman. Now that I’m married to a great gal, I feel like I should confess my past sins. Do you think that’s a good idea? I want to prevent this from happening again.

Mark

Dear Mark,

A conscience doesn’t prevent sin, it prevents you from enjoying the sin. Save the confessions for the priest. No need to worry your new bride. You have learned your lesson and will never repeat that mistake. Right?

I’m just say’n.

Carolyn