Folks, today is a banner day here at Overdrive magazine. We finally got an opportunity to meet up with and talk to Scoot McGutbagger, champion of the 62 mph Hammer Lane Crawl. He’s also been referred to as “that guy in a governed truck who won’t stay out of the passing lanes” but prefers the title “Super-Duper Trucker” to anything else.
“Scoot, pleasure to meet you in person. Tell us, what’s the secret to staying cool while all those hundreds of people behind you are honking, screaming and basically hating you so much, you should, by all applicable rules of karma and the universe, burst into flames at least three times a day?”
“You callin’ me Karmen?”
“Uh. No.”
“You got a mouse in your pocket? What’s all this ‘we’ business?”
“I’m talking about the readers of Overdrive, Scooter. You’re being interviewed for a magazine.”
“Well shoot fire, I reckon I better go get me a shower if I’m gonna be famous.”
“Perfect. We’ll follow you to your parking spot and wait.”
“This is my parking spot.”
“But Scooter, there are 15 trucks behind you, waiting to fuel.”
“I tell them the same thing I tell the folks on the highway. They can wait til I’m good and dang ready to move.”
“But Scooter, don’t you realize this causes backups and jams in places there shouldn’t be backups and jams? If you take your turn and move on out of the way, everything runs smoother.”
“I quit taking turns when I quit school back in kindergarten. Now if your a wanting an interview, I’m going inside to shower off in the bathroom sink.”
“No thanks, Scooter, we’ll be cutting this interview short. It appears the very large fellow who has been waiting 35 minutes to fuel just unfolded himself out of the bull hauler behind you and has a cattle prod he’d like to show you.”
“Well that sumb…gggffffggggeeernnnntt….ffffggggssstttt…zzzzzzzzzz…gobblegobblegobble….”
That ends the interview with Scooter, as he’s currently unavailable to continue with anything other than wondering what happened to Tuesday. Stay tuned for more inside information and interviews with the most annoying people in trucking, right here. Film at eleven.
