Run for your life from pumpkin spice

"That's right, I said it. I hate pumpkin-flavored anything. You can't make a stringy gourd sugary enough for me to like it, and I won't be fooled by the copious amounts of cinnamon and nutmeg, either."

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Creepy crawlies and questionable questions

"Here's an important tip to remember: if someone walks up to you in a truck stop with a cup and asks you to describe what's in it, just run. Don't even bother looking, because it's either going to be gross or scary."

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Returning with fall: Friday night lights … and clothes

"Fall is almost here again and I'm excited because (A) football starts, and (B) people start wearing clothes again."

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