Things that aren’t in the news, but should be

"The same people who don't hesitate to sit in the fuel island for 30 minutes will lose their mind trying to get out of the parking lot. It's like a switch is flipped from 'Nope, not moving,' to 'GOTTAGOFAST!' (The first person to blame this on ELDs gets a throat chop.)" ...

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Death to the stink bugs

"What evil genius designs a bug that stinks to high heaven when you smash it? When it's so gross the cat won't eat it, it doesn't belong in my mudroom."

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Short fuses at the fuel island

"They have people scheduled to maintain the snack bar -- why couldn't they schedule someone to maintain the fuel-isle flow? I would gladly give up a rolling rack of butt rockets for a fuel island attendant."

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