George & Wendy Show

Wendy Parker

The home time air hose

| October 15, 2014

Home time this past week was so busy, George was happy to get back in the truck. He takes five days off each year about this time, and spends it getting our ancient farmhouse ready for another Ohio winter. Every year, we cover the windows and fill in the gaps. He and the boy tromp down into the dreaded creepy spider hatchery (also known as our cellar) and wrap pipes, change filters and winterize the well pump. Between the old truck, and the old house, George spends a lot of time taking care of ancient technology, and he’s become pretty dang proficient at it.

I usually spend the week hauling winter clothes out of the mouse condominium we call a front closet. Everything has to be washed, and mittens and gloves are reunited. Cobwebs are blown away and all the winter gear gets cleaned and dusted one good time before we destroy it all again with another wet, salty season of dirty snow. Yay.

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I’ve finally mastered keeping the inside of the truck clean – at least clean enough to stand for a couple of weeks at at time. George put one of those little air hose thingies in the cab for me – I use it constantly to blow crud off of various surfaces – I love my little air hose thingie. It makes keeping the inside of the truck clean tons easier. It’s also hilarious to zap flies with, although I have been banned from such activity because it seems like the stupid flies purposely move towards George’s face when I’m chasing them with the air hose thingie, and I never fail to nail him in the eye with a blast of air while I’m attempting annihilation. Stupid flies.

As I was cleaning this week, I mentioned that if I ever had a dream home built, it would have air hose thingies in every room. And then the redneck light bulb went off in my head. I have a giant air hose thingie – it’s called a leaf blower. Who needs fancy houses and engineers?

Because everybody needs a leaf blower in the kitchen...

Because everybody needs a leaf blower in the kitchen…

I most certainly did use my leaf blower to evict the spiders and dust bunnies from the front closet. I happily used it to dry the freshly mopped kitchen floor. And while it was completely effective, it made the animals who live in our home with permission all go insane with fear, so that’s an angle I’ll need to work on. Also, I’m sure the neighbors wondered what the hell I was blowing out my front door that required a power tool, because I would totally wonder the same thing.

So the house is ready and the neighbors are once again questioning our sanity. All in all, a very productive home time.

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