George & Wendy Show

Wendy Parker

11 days in a truck is a long time

| December 28, 2012

My husband’s company allows two days of home time every 12 days. By the 11th day, any reason in the world to get off the truck and go home seems perfectly valid.

“Babe, you’re going to need to call dispatch and have them route us home. I need medical attention.”

“What’s wrong? You OK?

“Well, I didn’t want to say anything, but I think I’m coming down with leprosy.”

“You made that up.”

“Leprosy? I most certainly did not make that up. It’s been around for thousands of years, lurking at truck stops, waiting to leap onto unsuspecting people. As a matter of fact, there’s a story in the bible about leprosy. Our friend Cheesus cured the lepers by washing their feet with his hair. Cheesus had magic hair.”

“Did he now?”

“Yes he did, and he was nice enough to rub it on lepers to help them out. I think that’s in Jeziciah, chapter one, verse eleventy-seven.”

“Now you really are making shit up.”

“I may be wrong about the verse, but I know he had magic hair. It cured lepers and made him strong.”

“I think you’re mixed up.”

“It doesn’t matter. I need to go home. I have leprosy and I think I’m getting a hammertoe.”

“What did Cheesus do for hammertoes?”

“Don’t make fun of Cheesus.”

“I’m not making fun of Cheesus, I just wanted to know what he did for hammertoes.”

“Well for your information, Cheesus didn’t get hammertoes because he always wore magic sandals. That’s clearly stated in the book of Podiatis.”

“Have you ever even seen a Bible?”

“Are you kidding me? I went to church every single Sunday of my childhood. Pfft. Of course I’ve seen a bible.”

“Was it written in English?”

“You know what? I’m just going to be quiet and pray for you while you call dispatch and let them know they either need to get me some magic Cheesus hair or send me home.”

“I’m not calling dispatch. We’re scheduled for home time on Tuesday.”

“Oh, OK. Clearly you’re not interested in the health and well being of your wife. I guess I’ll file for disability when my fingers rot off.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

  • jescott418

    I have always said, they best solution for driver turnover is to treat drivers as humans. People are not in service, they are working for a living and have families and personal lives. People choose to join the military and expect long stints away from home. Trucking should not be considered a profession that requires such requirements. I have talked to drivers less then 100 miles from home and their dispatch would not send them home. They sat in a truckstop for the weekend. Yet we wonder why the high turnover?

  • Don Lanier

    Unfortunately many truckstops are less then satisfactory for one night stays let alone a two day restart etc. Some truck stops look like they never cleaned the bathroom since the stoneage. When I see a filthy bathroom what do I expect of a Kitchen on site. Why should we be subjected to expect these less then clean conditions.

    Ya truckers dump Pee bottles and trash and God knows what but how many trash receptacles are there, Why not put some Large plastic Grey water tanks with a Sanitary rinse for your Bottle, with a Dumpster right next to it, even on the fuel Island a dump for the bottles would stop the parking lot desecrations.

    Healthy eating, at a truck stop. its time we called them on this, If they took out HALF the snackfoods, and put in a small Grocery section, salad bar that was clean and maintained, and more Juice, Green Tea, and possibly a Healthy food section, NO Im not naive to believe even me will give up my snickers and start eating Cabbage rolls but give us the options !!!!

    Truck stop workout rooms, or walking paths, WHERE ARE THEY, Ive never seen one although I read about them, I am not sure its the best route for drivers whove been at this game for many years who ache and can barely get to the shower, and Id like to see some Walk in Tubs that a driver can get a good soak in, and the slippery tile thats been installed in many showers, WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT….Ipod docks ??? How about a small TV with local weather, or Interstate weather.

    I think Drivers need to input more on what they want to see in a truckstop that they spend a entire weekend at. Why not allow some Food delivery services, Laundry services pickup and return, etc.why gouge us on the costs for these services in machines that arent clean or far too small…Tourism could have a bus that takes drivers to local spots and returns them, after all were stuck here with money in our pockets, and were looking for OPTIONS…..

    For Gods sake Clean and sanitize the bathrooms once a day PLEASE.

  • Ken Nilsen

    First of all from someone who has been at this for 20 years there are a lot of misunderstandings by people currently employed in this industry. This is not a job. It is a lifestyle choice. If you want big dollars you will have to deal with long periods away from home. You want to be home everyday then get a local position but do not expect the same money. Remember, if you are a company driver you do what the company says. They pay you to do what is asked of you, remember, you CHOSE to work there. If you do not like it, quit, flip burgers, and you are easy to replace. If you want to do it your way you WILL pay your dues. Do what the company asks of you, save your money, buy a good used truck (NEVER, EVER LEASE from the company you work for), work hard, save your money, then buy a newer or new truck. Choose your own freight, take your home time whenever you wish, and do what you want to. It took me 12 years to find a dream job but now I am happy. I drive a nice truck(lights, chrome, and black smoke do not pay bills), manage my business wisely and am happy.

  • Terry Massey

    Good answer Ken, in watching some of the new breed of “drivers” it sometimes makes me ashamed to be called a truck driver. It was once a proud profession of top money earners that got the job done.

  • Montway

    Some truck drivers are in a truck for more than 11 days. I’ve heard about guys who drive for 3-4 weeks. Apparently, it’s their life style. After driving for over ten years is not easy to go back to regular life and star doing something different.

  • Richard Ybarra

    Second that. Am out for at least 3-4 weeks. Seen a few crappy TS’s. Found that a stay over at Pilot is usually not to bad though. If it is in bad shape, bathrooms, showers, they are usually apt to take care of it if you let them know. Anyways, I think the purpose of the story was to get you to laugh a little.. .. Don’t think it was intended to get to the level of depth that some of the posts got to. That is not to degrade in anyway what has been said, there is allot of truth to what has been said. Some of what has been said is pretty familiar. Anyways my two cents. Not that its worth much. strives to maintain an open forum for reader opinions. Click here to read our comment policy.