Breaking: Regulators apologize for delaying Santa

| December 24, 2012

The following bulletin was forwarded to Overdrive from the desk of Trans Products Trans Services Regulatory Manager Richard Wilson.

 The Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration would like to take this opportunity to apologize to all the children who will not be getting their Christmas presents on time this year. Regulators have determined that Santa Clause operates a commercial motor vehicle weighing more than 26,000 lbs. and which does not meet current emission standards. They have classified him as a common carrier of household goods as well as general commodities. However, Claus has no DOT or MC number. He is not medically qualified and so has had his CDL reduced to a Class D. (There is not a certified medical examiner in the North Pole.)

Santa has a neck with a circumference greater than 17.5 inches, with a body mass index measurement well north of 35, and he has not taken a 10-hour break before starting his run because he’s been hard at work checking his list twice and seeing who’s naughty and nice — these kinds of activities are classifiable as on-duty not driving, therefore Santa has more than exhausted his 14-hour clock. Regulators have deemed Santa an imminent hazard to the motoring public and ordered Claus to cease operations effective immediately, for these and other reasons (his CSA scores: through the roof, his sleigh: overdue for an annual inspection).

If the Claus operation can develop a suitable cooperative safety plan and implement it with regulators, perhaps next year Christmas will come on time.

Merry Christmas from the FMCSA!

Editor’s note: Children, do not despair. Overdrive editors suspect that, given the global nature of Santa’s operations, unlike the vast majority of U.S. carriers, Claus will find a way to make it happen. In the words of one legal advisor, also, “the FMCSA does not have jurisdiction over the airlanes and rooftops of the U.S. of A.” 

  • Judy

    That’s so cute! Thank you for the laugh!

  • AyreWolf

    So kool

  • Nehemiah

    Please send to FMCSA and the AP, good laugh!

  • http://www.facebook.com/NAVYBASSTEAM Keith Boettcher

    Love this Will have to post it on FB

  • christina tassell

    this is too cute… Had me laughing… God bless and merry christmas….

  • JAMES VINCENT

    snce santa dose not have a commerical platds n his slieds it uis not a comericial vehicel. he is noit for hire he uis not on our highways. tgherefore nobe of tghe truking rueks, reg., would apply to him.., JAMES V .

  • Mike Mesloh

    I am sure Johnny Law also wrote Santa a bunch of overweight tickets to the county and state totaling over $1500. They did not care that they delayed him 4 hours and deprived him of Christmas evening with his own family.

  • Pete

    He must have got caught in VA or TN

  • Safety/Compliance

    And the DOT will be dropping in at Santa’s workshop very soon to do a complete 3 day audit!

  • Rob

    The thing is, since Santa and his sleigh and reindeer fly, the jurisdiction for regulation of Santa is the FAA, not the FMCSA.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000251528122 Richard Wilson

    An “Intervention” lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000251528122 Richard Wilson

    Maryland, lmao

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000251528122 Richard Wilson

    He has an apportioned plate and a IFTA sticker? lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000251528122 Richard Wilson

    Merry Christmas to you too Christina

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000251528122 Richard Wilson

    I did, lol