George & Wendy Show

Wendy Parker

Fast food and filthy lies

| August 15, 2012

The thought gave me great joy.

“That’s not a very good idea. And we don’t have any M-80′s, it’s against the law to have them in the truck.”

Always doing everything by the book, he is.

“Well since you don’t mind diseased rabbit tripe, I guess you’ll eat your nasty scab and mayonnaise sandwich with cheese. Cheese is supposed to make it all better, I guess. You ate it and you liked it, didn’t you? I can’t live with someone who eats mayonnaise.”

There was no longer any doubt I had gone over the edge. Hunger does that to me.

“You’re a nurse. Blowing things up is frowned upon by the nursing board in any state.”

He carefully noted this, hoping to distract me from my original plan.

“Yeah, well it’s good I’m a nurse  because I can help all the innocent victims in the wreckage of the burning drive thru after I blow the sandwich up.”

The thought, again, gave me great joy.

“There will be no burning wreckage from an M-80. You may hurt yourself, but there will be no burning wreckage. I know this, I have a Haz Mat certification.  And I know you.”

Clearly this was not what I wanted to hear.

“You and your vicious lies!! You’re trying to take the joy out of blowing this sandwich up for me.  Of course I can light the fuse of an M-80 without hurting myself.”

“Two words.  July 2004.”

“That totally wasn’t my fault.  The fuse was defective.  You are evil.”

It had to be said.

“You’re freaking out over a sandwich.”

Of course, he was right and I didn’t blow the sandwich up, but I DID NOT feed the cheese -laden, mayonnaise-soaked sandwich to the dog. I saved it and took it to the next French Dip place we stopped at as proof they are trying to starve me to death. That’ll teach ‘em. strives to maintain an open forum for reader opinions. Click here to read our comment policy.