George & Wendy Show

Wendy Parker

Fatigue: The jokes get bad, the puns get worse

| April 25, 2014

I’ve known George for a long time. That being said, I can usually read his moods pretty well. For instance, when he’s really quiet and the vein in his head is throbbing, it’s probably because he’s mad about me screaming, “OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT!” when I saw something like the giant spaceship parked beside the road in Texas. I’m not allowed to gasp or yell “OH MY GOD!” unless there’s a member of the Taliban in the bunk, pointing an RPG at my head. That was a ground rule laid down the minute I first climbed into the truck. (I break it a lot.)

Our conversations are generally a little on the nutty side, but when he starts getting tired, they become a litany of bad jokes and horrible puns. When George starts the “frog in a blender” jokes, it’s time for him to pull over and rest. Example:

George Parker 2ME: “Hey babe, when we get home, I want you and Georgie to go mushroom hunting with me.”

(George grabs the mic of the CB and pretends to key in.)

“Break 1-9…my old lady wants me to go with her to find a fun guy. Is that weird, or what?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. I’m serious. I’ve never found any Morels, I really want to go mushroom hunting.”

(He grabs his gear shift like a microphone and pretends to sing.)

“She’s got a cheatin’ heart… I ain’t fun enough… She wants a fun guy with a pointy heeeeaaad…”

“I think you need to pull over.”

(Continues singing. Off key, and not on purpose.)

“She wants me to pull on over… so she can leave me for a fun guuuuyyy.”

“Kiss my ass.”

(Still singing.)

“Now she wants me to preform the hind lick maneuver on heeeerrrr.”

“Worst. Pun. Ever. You really are tired.”

(Still carrying his horribly off-key tune.)

Related

The Mother Ship has landed

"I don't know if any of you noticed, but Earth was recently invaded openly by aliens in the form of giant meteorites... If you're looking for me, I'll be over here under the catwalk in the fetal position."

“Gonna sleep like a shook baaaaabbby tooooonite..”

“Oh my Lord. I’m almost offended by that one.”

(Finally stops singing.)

“Hey, you know what you get when you put three frogs in a blender?”