Love in the Air

| September 22, 2009

It should be blind and odor-free


Dear Carolyn,
I’m an older fellow, and I’ve been dating a very nice woman for about six years now. Unfortunately, we have a problem. She doesn’t care to bathe as often as I’d like for her to. She emits an awful odor and refuses to do anything about it. It’s really starting to turn me off. I don’t think it’s that much to ask that she try to sweeten up. She says to take her or leave her.

What do you think I should do?
Sam

Dear Sam,
Leave her.

Oh, and one more thing: Love stinks. Ha! I’ve been waiting to say that.
I’m just say’n.

Dear Carolyn,
I’ve been married for four years, and I feel like our marriage is very strong. We’ve even been talking about having a baby soon. But there’s one thing I’m having a hard time adjusting to. I’ve walked in on my husband looking at porn on the Internet! He says it’s not a big deal and I’m making a fuss over nothing. I can’t help it, though. It really hurts my feelings. What should I do about it? It makes me wonder if he doesn’t find me attractive enough.

Is this normal?
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to answer this question over the years. It’s up there with “Can men and women be ‘just friends?’” I don’t have anything against porn anymore than I am against beer or Snickers bars. However, like beer and candy bars, if you are using it excessively, if you have a problem walking away from it, if it “owns” you and you make all your decisions around its availability, then it’s a problem. You have to figure out a few things. Do you think he has a problem with porn? If so, you need to address that issue.

If it’s just a casual hobby, you can tell him it bothers you and then let it go. Best-case scenario, he does his looking in private and you don’t worry about it anymore. Let’s hope for the best. If he’s like most men and is just a casual viewer, don’t take it personally. I doubt he’s comparing you to them and finding you lacking. He’s probably not even thinking about you at all!
I’m just say’n.

Dear Carolyn,
I’m freaked out about the Swine Flu. I’m overweight and have high blood pressure and diabetes. I can’t afford to get sick. Is it rude to offer people a squirt of hand sanitizer before shaking hands with them?
Reggie

Dear Reggie,
Rude is if you cough in their face. Rude is if you go to work with a fever. Rude is if you send your kid to school with a fever.

I hope people are freaked out about flu. I want crowds to turn ugly when someone sneezes into the air. I want people to want to wash their hands. Frequently. I want to shower in Purell. Frequently. So yeah, you are singing my song.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
I’m just say’n.

Dear Carolyn,
When I meet a new girl I just clam up and can’t think of anything witty or clever to say. Even though I’m well-read and keep with the news, I’m so shy I can’t even get the words to come out right. Do you have any surefire tips to at least get me started? Once people get to know me, I’m fine. It’s those first encounters that are the hardest.
Lou

Dear Lou,
Here’s what you do. Introduce yourself and then ask her questions about her favorite subject.

And what might that be?

Herself! Yes indeedy. Ask her where she’s from, what she likes to read, where she likes to travel, what she thinks about the ball game. And then really listen to her answers until you find a common thread.

OK, now go practice!
I’m just say’n.

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