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Tag: automatic sinks
Business
The automatic circle of life
Wendy on the slow burn of the “autonomous” buzzword: “I’d much rather pay a little more for Richard the Bakery Clerk than suffer the horror of losing my French braid while self-slicing cheap French bread, wouldn’t you? Welcome to automatic hell, y’all.”
January 29, 2018
Business
I’ll have my sinks with handles, please
“I still stand by the distinct possibility of either being electrocuted by a water-logged hand dryer or having a full-on anger-induced stroke the next time an automatic air freshener sprays antiseptic lilac mist directly onto my corneas.”
December 11, 2017
Business
Bumps and squiggles on the road to Automatic Hell
“Everyone pretty much knows I’m not a fan of the automatic world, I almost lost my life to an auto-flush toilet in Montana, so if anyone can relate to feelings of disdain for having the brakes applied on a commercial vehicle you’re piloting, without your consent, it’s me.”
October 18, 2017
Business
Cautionary tale: Keep drawstrings tucked at all times
“I was hanging by my shorts on the second step of a Freightliner. The fact that my face was almost pressed up against the side of the truck kept me from having to witness the hundreds pointing and laughing at me.”
August 7, 2013
Parking
Abolish three-in-one sinks — now!
Wendy sends a message to Congress: “If we’re going to start outlawing stuff because it’s dangerous, I think we should start with the automatic sensors on every stinking sink between here and Timbuktu.”
February 1, 2013
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