bathrooms

Earning your cool

Clorox wipes or baby wipes: There's a difference. "While I have personally met people who could probably benefit from a Clorox armpit bath, it's generally considered a bad idea to put bleach on your skin, and I try to refrain from it as much as possible."

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Ruining a good thing: Bathroom privacy

Another doozy of a restroom tale from Wendy: "I've written more stories about bathrooms than pretty much anything else, and if you didn't know any better, you'd probably think I was weird."

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Nuggets of wisdom: Don’t forget your shower shoes

"There are a few things I've learned never to be without. Clorox wipes and baby wipes are indispensable, but don't get them mixed up."

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Alert! Le Pew’s on the toilet!

Wendy Parker tells her craziest road story: "When I step into any bathroom outside of my own home, I slip into some crazy space-time continuum that contains everything weird."

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‘Sorry, dude. I don’t speak hieroglyphics’

"Don't ever yell at me in a foreign language, cause I've got a shiny new pair of cowboy boots that will definitely send a kneecap for a loop."

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Abolish three-in-one sinks — now!

Wendy sends a message to Congress: "If we're going to start outlawing stuff because it's dangerous, I think we should start with the automatic sensors on every stinking sink between here and Timbuktu."

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Close encounters of the weird kind

"If the shoe-talker is reading this, or if you yourself have talked to the shoes of strangers in a bathroom stall, quit it. It's just plain weird."

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Hole hell in California

Wendy visits a middle-of-nowhere, Calif., rest area outhouse/reptile feeding facility.

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