On Saturday, I will have been haunting the mortal coil for 46 years. If you had told me I was going to live 46 years when I was 20, I’d have laughed in your face. After I sobered up. Suffice it to say, I spent a lot of time trying to stupid myself to death in my 20s. Also suffice it to say that I have never once wished I was young again. I was a complete idiot, and the prayers of my sainted Momma are the only reason I made it through. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
My Dad passed in his 46th year. This is obviously on my mind as I make plans and consider what I’d like to accomplish during this turn around the sun. I’ve said before if I died today, I wouldn’t be upset about it. I may as well not be, I’d be dead and really wouldn’t matter, but even after wasting my 20s, I feel like I’ve had a pretty good run and done a lot of cool things. I’d miss the kids a lot, but I miss the kids a lot when I’m away from home now, so that probably wouldn’t be so different.
This year, I’ve decided to be happy. Being happy is probably the one thing my Dad would tell me to be, if I could talk to him one more time. It’s what I tell my own children to be, and it’s probably the hardest thing human beings can try to do. We have so many options for unhappiness, so many choices for destruction, and not enough happy in our lives.
I’m not looking to make monumental changes, I realize my decision to be happy doesn’t magically erase all the unhappy options. George and I will still spat, my kids will still drive my crazy, and we’ll continue to pay taxes. But I fully intend to have hazelnut creamer for my coffee every day, because it makes me happy. I will also supply the truck with plenty of Fun-Dip, because as juvenile as it is, I love an interactive candy that requires my full participation in the form of licking a sugar stick and dipping it into powdered sugar crystals, in order to shove them in my mouth. It makes me happy.
For my birthday, do something to make yourself happy. Dance in the shower, take a minute to actually look at the complexity of a leaf or a flower, have all the hazelnut coffee creamer you want. It’s a lot easier to be happy when you’re around happy people, so I’m holding you to it. It’s my birthday, don’t ruin it.