One truck to rule them all
The Precious is here. She arrived from Wisconsin the other day, and I haven’t seen my husband since. He has paced and pranced and climbed all over his new girlfriend, right in front of me. Clearly, his mind is preoccupied with the new acquisition. It’s a good thing I’m tolerant and love her as much as he does. It’s as close to being a sister-wife as I’m ever gonna get without kicking someone’s ass every day of the week. I wouldn’t be a good candidate for a multiple. The first time I walked into my kitchen early in the morning and there was another chick there, things would go drastically downhill and you can venture to say it wouldn’t be a happy home.
It’s also been an exercise in patience as far as getting her papers straight. We are fortunate to be members of OOIDA and were able to insure her properly with their help, but all the taxes, tags and titling is an absolute nightmare. Mostly because when you look up the information online, it’s completely different from what they tell you when you get to the window to pay and make actual paper transactions. It’s like the website and the state offices in Ohio have never met. I’m seriously convinced there is no set way to title and tag a commercial vehicle in the state of Ohio. It just depends on who you happen to get at the window of the DMV.
“I’m sorry Mr. Parker, we’re going to require that form in triplicate, with eleventy-seven dollars attached to each form with a pink paperclip. Also, there will be a surcharge of three warthog hairs and a virgin.”
“But the website clearly states the virgin is only necessary if the vehicle has less than 200,000 miles on it.”
“Since you obviously didn’t read the footnotes, I’ll paraphrase by telling you those are galactic miles, not highway miles.”
I may be exaggerating just a tiny bit, but when people started asking for the 2290 tax form I got a little panicked, because I have no friggin idea what a 2290 tax form is. And if the word “tax” is involved, I know it means money. And if one more person asks us for money, I’m going to develop PTSD from attempting to buy a vehicle in order to be allowed to work. Seriously, you’d think they’d make it easier for people who want to work. We’re not in debt up to our bellybuttons for giggles and grins — we want to work.
So here’s the first photo album of our new baby. Consider these ‘before’ pictures, as it’s colder than a dead man’s eyes outside, and she just got here from Wisconsin, where it’s salty and snowy and she hasn’t had a bath just yet. This is our project, we have a beautiful canvas to start with, and we’re thankful as we can be for her.
Now for goodness sakes, can we just get on the road?!
"There probably should be some minimum standards. But as long as the ...