I'm just say'n

By Carolyn Magner
[email protected]

Dear Carolyn,

I’m trying to decide on my New Year’s Resolutions. You are so good at telling us what to do, what are YOU doing to improve yourself this year?


Dear Petey,

Thanks for asking. Here’s my list:

  • Get off my butt and take a brisk walk every day.
  • Try to count my blessings, give thanks and stop with the grudge list already.
  • Try to learn some new skill like photography or rock climbing or maybe how to apply nail polish without painting my skin. Something cool like that.
  • Cook with less oil.
  • Let stuff go.

I’m just say’n.

Dear Carolyn,

My best friend’s boyfriend is constantly hitting on me behind her back. Flirting, teasing and sometimes even stepping over the line. I don’t know what to do. He’s so cute that it’s hard to be stern with him. But what about my friend? She’d be devastated. Should I tell her?


Dear Katie,

Um, sweetie, I think you need to start off by telling him to knock it off. Now. This minute. Because I’m wondering why you’ve let it go on this long. Tell him firmly, like you mean it. Because I don’t think you really do.

If you end up with this guy, remember, you are getting a real prize, someone who cheated on his girlfriend with her best friend. Sigh, how many times do I have to tell you people?

I’m just say’n.

Dear Carolyn,

I’m an owner-operator who yet again missed the holidays with my family. It’s the fifth Christmas in a row that I’ve been gone. The kids don’t even believe in Santa anymore, and I missed that, too. I have a great wife who is very supportive. She knew this was the life she was getting when we got married.

The problem is, I’m not sure it’s the life I want anymore. Going to work for a local trucking company is starting to look much better than it used to. What should I do?


Dear Frank,

What? There’s no Santa? Who knew?

This is the thing. If you gave up your truck and went to work for a company, you’d have the home time, the health insurance, the benefits, the safety bonuses. You can always get another truck, but you can’t get your kids’ childhood back. I think that’s the way your heart is leaning. And in the advice business, I’ve found that the best advice is to figure out what the person wants and point them in that direction.

I’m just say’n.

Dear Carolyn,

My boyfriend constantly flirts with other women, even when we are out together. He won’t listen to me that it makes me feel horrible when he does that. He says it’s harmless and fun for him and for the waitress or whoever happens to be in his path. This not only hurts my feelings, but I obsess over it. I can’t stop thinking about what it means that he won’t stop the behavior even though I told him how much it upsets me. Plus, I don’t think it sends the right message to the women he’s flirting with. He says I’m totally wrong and it doesn’t matter where he gets his appetite as long as he eats at home.

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I’m right, and he thinks he’s right. What do you think?


Dear Jane,

He is right and you are right. Just not for each other.

Sorry, but if you’ve explained how it makes you feel and he does it anyway, then you have a boyfriend who dismisses your feelings. That ain’t right. And you know it.

You do know it, don’t you? Because writing to me just puts on paper what you already know. Time to move on. There are women who don’t mind if their significant other flirts with anything in a skirt. I’ve never actually met one, but I know they are out there somewhere. You just aren’t in that club. Nor am I.

I’m just say’n.

Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Nothing shocks her. If you are really in trouble, please call someone who has gone to school for a long time. E-mail Carolyn at [email protected].

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