I'm Just Say'n: What a dump

Carolyn Magner
Columnist
cmagner@rrpub.com

Dear Carolyn,

My boyfriend is a long-haul trucker, and we’ve been dating for about six years. I’m a little bit worried, though, because for the last few months he’s stopped calling me. I realize he’s on the road all the time, but surely he has time to return a phone call or text message? He’s been such a good boyfriend, and we have so much fun when we are together that I hate to break up with him. What do you think? Should I give him the boot?

Patti

Dear Patti,

I’ll say this as gently as I can. There’s no need for you to dump him. He has already dumped you.

Yes, dear. When the boy stops calling and months go by, he has moved on. I suggest you do the same.

I’m just say’n.


Dear Carolyn,

My husband is a great guy, and I’m very lucky to be married to him. He is a hard worker, is faithful to me and is a wonderful father to our three children. Lately, though, he’s having a hard time making it with fuel prices and soft freight. I’ve tried to be as supportive as I can, but it seems like he’s taking his frustration out on me. It’s getting to the point where my stomach gets in a knot when his name is on the caller ID. All he does is complain about the economy and worry me to death about the truck payments.

Is there anything I can do to help him through this? I’m at the end of my rope.

Julie

Dear Julie,

Please review that pesky part of the marriage vows where it says, “for better or worse, richer or poorer, good times and bad.” Got that? OK, well, these are bad times, things are getting worse and almost everyone in trucking is poorer today than they were yesterday. People tend to share their fears with the person who agreed to stand by them.

I’m not saying he should dump his worries on you, but you need to cut him a little slack. It’s really rough out there right now.

So, Sweetie, toughen up, tighten down, cut where you can and be the one on the other end of the line that brightens his day. When this passes, and it will, you’ll both be stronger for it.

I’m just say’n.


Dear Carolyn,

The time has come for me to break up with my girlfriend. I’m ready to move on, but I really don’t want her to be heartbroken. She’s got low self-esteem, and I’m afraid that by leaving her I could send her into a real funk. I’m not a bad guy, and I don’t want to read her letter in this column saying what a jerk I am for leaving her. But what should I do? Stay with her just because she’s going to be so upset? Please help me.

Lewis

Dear Lewis,

Do what you have to do. Break up with her in a kind but matter-of-fact way. Try to keep it from focusing on what you don’t like about her. Instead, just tell her it’s not working for you. Give her back her stuff, get your stuff and wish her well.

Oh, and Lewis? I assure you, she’ll get over you. I mean, it’s really nice that you are so concerned and all, but I doubt you are the only fish in her deep blue sea.

I’m just say’n.


Dear Carolyn,

My husband and I argue over how much money he spends on tricking out his truck. I don’t understand why he needs to add chrome to a perfectly functioning truck. He can afford it, and none of the money comes out of our household budget. But it just bugs me. He says it makes him feel happy and proud to be a trucker when his truck looks good. I don’t get this.

Do you?

Marsha

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha,

Um, do I get how shiny expensive things can make one feel happy? Yes, dear, I do get that. Now, I suggest you busy yourself with other worries.

I’m just say’n.


Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Nothing shocks her. If you are really in trouble, please call someone who has gone to school for a long time. E-mail Carolyn at cmagner@rrpub.com.

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