I’m eternally grateful for a mom who cared whether or not we acted ugly, and didn’t mind slapping us in public. In reflection, her style of parenting, as well as my own morphed version of hers, would both be considered fairly criminal by today’s ridiculous standards.
I distinctly remember coming home for supper in the summertime, having every pointy part of my body scraped off, with loose teeth and missing chunks of hair from repeated bicycle accidents, and the only first aid I got was a bath and some Mercurochrome daubed on all the pointy parts. Guess what? I lived.
My own daughter wandered off into East Dayton to play one afternoon and returned home with a pigeon she trapped in a bird cage she found in the alley of a grocery store.
I, being the monster that I am, didn’t take her immediately to Children’s Hospital for shots and preventive de-lousing. I made her let it go and I gave her a bath. And I was secretly in awe of her ninja skills, because she was a little kid and trapped a street-wise pigeon by herself.
I overheard our teenage son tell his buddy, “My mom will slap the crap out of you,” when the kid mentioned leaving a sink full of dirty dishes in our kitchen. I wasn’t ashamed at all. I’m glad clear parameters have been set and if I have to slap the crap out of someone to keep things in order, then so be it. It’s a mother’s right and more should exercise it.
The thing is, no one has made me slap the crap out of them yet, and I feel like just having the guts to tell them out loud that I will is enough of a deterrent. We’ll see. If anything will test your limits, it’s teenage boys.
Happy Mother’s Day, a day late, as it were, to all the moms out there. Thanks to the moms who aren’t their kids’ best friends. If they hate you and they’re teenagers, you’re probably doing it right. Put your feet up and enjoy your day.
