I’ll gladly install you Tuesday, for a hamburger today

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Sometimes, people just don’t understand about the “away from home” stuff. Never was this more evident than yesterday, when I attempted to have our cable and internet service hooked up at the new house.

Moving is bad enough, but moving while attempting to get ready to leave for an extended trip is an exercise in horror. We finally got all our stuff in the new place with one day to spare before having to turn and leave again. Consequently, this was the day I chose to have all the installations done.

Water, electricity, gas, and trash pick-up went off without a hitch. I was feeling pretty smug with myself when everything but cable was accomplished by noon. I should have known better.

Time Warner was scheduled to show up at noon. I got a call, and an email and everything. At 12:10, I noticed a couple guys in Carhartts banging on the door of my neighbor across the street. No Time Warner van, no smiling, uniformed staff member: nothing like the ads on TV. I got their attention and told them they were at the wrong house. They informed me Time Warner had the address wrong on the work order. I showed them the existing cable box and all the outlets, and left them to work while I called TW to let them know the address was wrong. Note the time – about 12:15.

wimpyI made my call, told them the contractors had arrived, and they had the wrong address on the work order. I was assured it was corrected, and went on feeling smug about the progress we were making. I should have known better.

About 12:45, I realized no one was installing anything. I looked out to see the contractors standing in my yard, like they were confused.

“What’s going on, guys?”

“We can’t do this install. It requires a ground and we can’t sink a ground, because if there’s trouble with it in the future and your equipment gets fried, it comes back on us.”

“So you’re telling me that Time Warner sends contractors out to do their work and install their equipment, but doesn’t back it?”

“Pretty much. We’re waiting on a call from our boss to tell us what to do.”

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OK, strike one against Time Warner. Who the hell sends contractors out without being confident enough in them to back their work? That seems like the stupidest thing in the world to me. I called TW (again) and requested a TW employee. I also expressed my concern for them sending contractors they don’t necessarily trust to my house.

In the event of brevity, I’ll cut to the chase and say a TW employee did indeed show up, never talked to me, walked around the house with the contractors, and split without ever saying a word to me. The next time I looked out the window to check progress, everyone was gone.

I call (again) and asked just what the yellow hell is going on. I’m told my install has been rescheduled for Monday at 1. I tell them that’s awesome, but I’m not going to be here and no one asked me if I could do a reschedule. I tried to explain to the lady that we travel extensively, and there was one shot at getting everything hooked up, and it was the day I scheduled the appointment originally and cleared my entire day for it.

“Okay, let’s see…how about Tuesday?”

“I’m not going to be here Tuesday. We travel. I’ve asked for that to be put in our account notes repeatedly.”

“When will you be back?”

“I’m not waiting until I get back, and we don’t know. I need someone out here today, like I told the woman two weeks ago when I scheduled this appointment.”

“Well, it shows there’s never been service at that address, so the install will take at least 5 hours.”

“Lady, this house has had cable for 30 years. I’m looking at a Time Warner service box attached to the side of it and a drop from the aerial running to it.”

“We’re showing no service at the 2099 address.”

“That’s because I’m at 2096. I requested the address be changed when I called this morning. It’s almost 3 o’clock and no one has changed the address.”

“I’ll have to send you over to the Movers department to get that done.”

“I would like to speak to a supervisor.”

** click ** crickets ** dial tone **

I don’t even have enough room in this post to go on with the ridiculousness that ensued thereafter. I ended up logging over 20 calls to Time Warner Cable, had over three and a half hours on hold, and as of 9 pm last night, they still didn’t have the address corrected, or cable hooked up at our new place. The last person I talked to asked if I would be available Tuesday for an install.

I hung up on them.