CRASHES, BRIBES AND UFOS ARE FAIR GAME FOR THIS JACKSON FIVE
In the new computer game Big Mutha Truckers 2 – sequel to you-know-what, which sold a million copies – the object is to raise enough bribe money to get Ma Jackson off the hook for tax evasion.
The player characters are Ma’s four younguns: Cletus, Earl, Rawkus and Bobbie Sue, who makes Daisy Duke look undernourished and overdressed. Players can haul anything from diamonds to hogs, but they also must dodge falling rocks, battle hijacking biker gangs, outrun police and UFOs and, yes, smash up four-wheelers, all to a soundtrack that includes Willie Nelson and John Fogerty.
By now, many of you are already writing protest letters and/or whipping out your credit card, so here are the addresses: thq.com, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Big Mutha Truckers 2, for PlayStation 2 and Xbox, is $19.99 from THQ.
THIS ‘SMOKEY’ APPRECIATES ‘BANDIT’
A retired Wyoming state trooper has written a new book praising truckers. Truckers and Troopers author Jim Geeting patrolled I-80 for 20 years. He writes that at 6-foot-10, he was viewed with awe by some truckers as a legendary figure “somewhere between Paul Bunyan and [former wrestler] Bobo Brazil.”
“Those that knew me,” he continues, “understood ours was not a ‘good-guy, bad-guy’ relationship, but more of a competition. Each of us knew we needed each other, but could never admit it.”
The last sentences of Geeting’s book are: “A trucker delivered this book to you. A trooper made sure he got there. Both are heroes.” It’s from Lulu Press, www.lulu.com.
POLLY WANT A WANKER?
This summer, every newspaper in England reported on a cursing parrot at the Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary. Barney’s favorite expressions include “wanker” and “bollocks,” which are rude in England, and “#$%!! off,” which is rude everywhere. Why do we care? Because every story about Barney blamed his bad language on his former owner, who worked as