A Trucker’s Gift Guide

Have no sorrow on the morrow for sixpence spent today.

At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year.”

That little poem was written in the 16th century by Thomas Tusser, who also penned one fitting for January: Who goeth a-borrowing, Goeth a-sorrowing.”

It’s still December, though, so keep spreading good cheer with these last-minute gift ideas, suitable for your favorite trucker. They’re priced in a range that should prevent any sorrowing when your bills come knocking next month.

BOOGIE WITH THE BEST
Truck Driver’s Boogie: Big Rig Hits Vol. 1: 1939-1969, from Diesel Only Records, is no Christmas album but a welcome stocking stuffer anyway, with 20 vintage tracks including “Truck Driver’s Blues” by Cliff Bruner, “I’m Coming Home” by Johnny Horton, “Truck Drivin’ Cat with Nine Wives” by Jim Nesbitt – and, of course, Dave Dudley’s “Six Days on the Road.” It’s $15 at this site.

KICKS ON ROUTE 66
Trucking video games run the gamut from realistic simulators to insane arcade-style driving fun. The King of Route 66, from Sega for Sony PlayStation 2, falls into the second category. It puts players in the cab of a big rig driving fabled Route 66 from Illinois to California while outrunning the minions of a sinister corporation. Reviewers on www.gamefaqs.com say the game has great music. It’s $49.99 from this site.

SEEING IS BELIEVING
Do you have a hard time describing to your family the world of truck stops and the people who frequent them? Well, now you can simply hand over photographer Marc Wise’s book Truck Stop. It captures truck stops in all their splendor, from how they looked years ago to the hustle and bustle of today’s buffet line. It’s $40 from the University Press of Mississippi, at this site.

HOT PURSUIT PACK
Trucking classic Smokey and the Bandit and its two sequels are now available on a single double-sided DVD, the Smokey and the Bandit Pursuit Pack. Starring Burt Reynolds, Sally Fields, Jackie Gleason and a black Trans Am, the original pits a pair of bootleggers and a hitchhiking romantic interest against a moronic “county mountie.” The sequels lack the rip and energy of the first film, but they are still worth seeing for the car chases and crashes. The set is $19.98 from Universal Studios Home Video, at this site.

SPOON NOT INCLUDED
Want a fun way to freshen up someone’s truck? Try a Soup-er Candle, a jasmine-scented candle sealed inside a pull-top soup can with a cute label – “For a Soup-er Trucker,” for example. It’s $7.95 from Signs of the Times, at this site, (352) 357-4463.

CHOKE THE SMOKE
The Smoker’s Sidekick is a portable smokeless ashtray that snuffs up to three packs of butts, fits into most cup holders and even attaches to a belt, like a cell phone. It’s $19.90 plus shipping from the holiday gift guide at Premier Motoring Accessories, at this site.

BOTTLED HEAT
Spice up the new year with one of these trucker-themed hot sauces:

  • Mother Trucker’s Hot Stuff, with Mudflap Girl on the label, is $3.99 from Porky’s Gourmet Foods, at this site.
  • Hazmat Hot Sauce, with a placard on the label, is $6.50 from Mild To Wild Pepper and Herb Co., at this site.
  • Truckin’ Hot, which comes in a limited-edition bottle shaped like an 18-wheeler, is $20 from CaJohns Fiery Foods, at this site.

OVERDRIVE OR OVERNIGHT?
The coffee drinkers on your list will appreciate Mother Trucker’s Coffee from Coffee Legends, which offers a regular Overdrive Blend and an extra-caffeinated Overnight Blend. A 12-ounce bag is $9.75 from this site.

HAT’S MY NAME
Thanks to Ashton Kutcher and the folks at MTV, mesh trucker hats have had a long run of
popularity, even among non-truckers. MeshHat.com will make you a personalized one with any name, company or personal motto airbrushed on the front, for $16.99. A large selection of hats is available, at this site.

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